One thing you need to know if your man is “stalling” when it comes to commitment (or the relationship isn’t moving forward) is this: Men follow their INSTINCTS.
Men typically don’t analyze the relationship the same way women do – it either feels good to them, or it doesn’t. In other words, he’s either “feeling it” for you and moving the relationship forward towards commitment, or he’s not.
Men don’t TALK themselves into and out of wanting things the way women tend to do. Their brains are wired differently.
When a man says that he’s “confused” or he’s “not ready” for commitment – or that he loves you but he’s not IN love with you – he usually can’t put his finger on why he’s not ready for a real committed relationship.
Men often don’t know WHY they feel the way they do, they just follow their instincts.
Here’s what NOT to do in this situation when a man is “stalling” or pulling away, or if the relationship isn’t where you’d like it to be:
⋅ Don’t initiate conversations about the relationship at this point in time.
⋅ Don’t try to get him to remember all the things he said or did at the beginning of the relationship.
⋅ Don’t lean forward and start initiating more affection or sex in an attempt to get something back in return.
⋅ Don’t make suggestions or tell him what he “should” be doing.
⋅ Don’t try to make him understand how you’re feeling or get him to see things the way you do.
It’s not as though you can never do any of these things again – but at this point if he’s stalling, pulling back or acting distant, you need to get the Relationship Dynamic back in balance and functioning the way it’s supposed to first.
When you stop doing these things and create the space for him to come towards you, it opens up the space for a REAL connection – and if he’s the right man for you, he’ll instinctively feel compelled to come closer.
Men need two things in order to commit to a woman forever: They need to feel respected, and need to know that they can make you happy. These are two of their basic core needs.
A man will feel like he CAN’T make you happy when you tell him what to do or what he “should” be doing, and when you complain or ask him why he stopped doing the things he used to do at the beginning of the relationship.
When we do these things, we’re just trying to get clarity and understand where he’s coming from so we can fix it, get our needs met, and feel more safe and secure in the relationship – but all this does is make him feel like he’s not doing enough and he can’t make you happy.
It makes him instinctively want to back up and create more space between the two of you.
By asking him why he stopped doing the things he did at the beginning of the relationship, it automatically puts you in a position “below” him energetically.
This is because you’re looking to him as “holding” something that you want (something that he’s not giving you) – it’s as though HE’S holding the key to your happiness – and what you want to do is put that key to your happiness in your OWN hands where it belongs!
When you create the energetic space for him to come towards you (and for a REAL connection), if he’s the right man for you, he’ll instinctively want to get closer and commit to you all on his own – without any sort of “prompting” from you.
P.S. – If you want to learn the secrets to inspiring a man’s love, devotion and lifelong commitment, see my bio for instant access to my FREE “3 Keys To Attract The Man You Want” report and in-depth audio training.