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Great sex is indispensable for a well rounded, complete relationship and there is certainly nothing wrong with having casual sex – if that’s what you want.

Sex Drive Is High? Is He For Real?Are you OK just having sex with a guy? If yes, then that’s perfectly fine.

However, most (if not all) women desire to be in a loving relationship at some point in their lives. They are not comfortable with being just a guy’s booty call. They want something more substantial. Moreover, many men have a habit of emotionally manipulating women and tricking them into having sex.

So be on the lookout for these 5 telltale signs that he is only using you for sex:

1. He doesn’t invite you anywhere

Forget about being original, he doesn’t even make an attempt to put together even a simple dinner & movie date. He makes excuses whenever you suggest doing something together – unless it is having sex, of course!

You only spend time at his place or yours. He never calls you during the day time and you only see him late in the evenings or at night (when he is in the mood).

2. You haven’t met his friends

OK, it’s understandable that men (and even women) don’t want you to meet their friends and family unless they know for sure that the relationship is serious. However, if you have been seeing him for a while and you still have not been introduced to his friends; then this should raise a red flag in your mind.

When guys meet a girl that they think is awesome, they actually like to proudly show her off to their friends. If he is reluctant to do so, then he doesn’t think that you are awesome (OK, maybe the sex is good but that is about it). You should only date people who think you are awesome, both in and out of bed – it is the LAW!

3. He only calls or texts you when he wants to meet up

He never sends you a casual text or does not inquire about your well being. All his moves seem to have an agenda. Guys are not as talkative on the phone as girls (they are watching TV and cannot talk and watch at the same time – it is too difficult for them!), nor do they like texting as much as girls.

Sex or Love? It’s Your Choice!But if a guy loves a girl and cares about her – he will call just ‘to talk’ or at least to invite you to someplace nice (His dirty apartment does NOT qualify as a nice place). He’ll send you funny, witty messages to impress you. He will ask you what you had for lunch and how your day was; his conversation will not linger exclusively around sexual topics. Sure, guys like to talk about sex but it should not be the only thing that you both talk about.

4. He is busy on the weekends – especially evenings

I hate to this ladies, but this COULD very well mean that he has reserved the best time of the week for his A-grade woman. This is someone that he thinks is worth dating.

Are you comfortable being a second choice?

Do you like getting his sloppy seconds? 

If not, you need to stop letting guys use you and start learning about becoming an alpha woman.You need to focus on your happiness before you can worry about others.

5. He leaves shortly after the act

You have had a terrific lovemaking session and it would be nice to just cuddle and plan the future together but BOOM – he gives you a customary peck on the cheek and before you know what’s happening, he’s already got into his clothes, mumbled some lame excuse about work and being busy and is out of the house. Worse, he makes you leave right after sex because he is busy and has things to do.

Whatever you do, don’t dump a guy just because he has a high sex drive! Suggest that you do something social like going to a movie, concert or even just taking a walk and chatting. Check out if he willingly accepts. No wonder how busy a man is, he always makes time for the people that are important to him.

Understand that it can be emotionally challenging to leave a guy who does not care about you. Women become addicted to such guys because all human beings have an innate tendency to go after that what they cannot have. However, you will never meet Mr. Right if you keep chasing Mr. Wrong!

Deborah Reynolds

Deborah Reynolds is a dating coach from Orange County California and a wife and mother to two beautiful twin girls.

You can read more about her at her website SinglesBee.com and download a free eBook titled “Why Men Loose Interest” as her gift to you.

What Do You Think?

11 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Lyn Jun 27, 2015 at 5:56 am

    I’ve dated my boyfriend for a year and a half and still have not met his family. I brought it up, but he says I know and says he scheduled for me to meet them but something came up. Or he goes sees his mom when he knows I am unable to make it on that day. I don’t understand why he does this. Also he loves his alone time, he won’t schedule anything with me sometimes. Not sure if he’s serous with me or using me until someone “better” comes along.

    Reply
    • Deborah Reynolds   Lyn Jul 2, 2015 at 1:38 pm

      1 1/2 years? How far away is his family? Also – how old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?

      Reply
  • Mr Jun 22, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    AND Why not. For decades even centuries woman have been hanging over guys heads the Golden Pussy. Now that we are Equal, (women think they are better), Sex has become for a man esp. those past 30 something to keep him occupied when he’s not doing his own thing with his buddies, Hobbies etc. Now women who thought they had the world and men by the balls and thought only of them selves are getting older and Don’t want to die alone are getting desperate. They are now toys for the man. Esp. men who have been burnt before by a lover/wife and then by the court system.

    Reply
  • Sheri Jun 20, 2015 at 9:31 am

    I was dating a man for about a month. We went on about 5 dates but during the week. We don’t talk on the weekends at all, but constantly during the week. On our 5th date, we had sex, and I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve texted and called, but no response. I’m confused.

    Reply
    • Mr   Sheri Jun 22, 2015 at 11:56 am

      Don’t be confused, It’s not that hard he got what he wanted and you were betting sex would hook him. WRONG

      Reply
    • Deborah Reynolds   Sheri Jun 24, 2015 at 1:12 pm

      Sadly, once guys get “what they want” (which in some cases can just be sex) they can do this. Not saying it happens all the time but yours is not the first story i’ve heard of this.

      Sorry that happened Sheri 🙁

      Reply
  • Leila Jun 20, 2015 at 1:41 am

    Some men and women (especially young ones) just aren’t looking for anything long term. That’s ok. Infact, I would even say it was in many cases a healthy attitude. The problem is that, as Deborah says, some aren’t upfront about what they want. Why not? Well, I don’t know. How easy is it really to tell if someone likes you for more than sex. Ironically, you could probably tell by how great (or not) the sex is. But that’s a bit confusing. I would approach this issue by saying to women (and men) – make sure you like something about the other person that isn’t related to getting it on with them – maybe it’s their sense of humour or the way they look a bit shy when they speak to you – just something that isn’t just their great physique or cute face – although all of that could be thought of as relating to ‘the deed’ in some way. No, it’s not easy, but give yourselves time to see how much you like spending time with each other and how well you get on – time always tells.

    Reply
    • Deborah Reynolds   Leila Jun 24, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      I Agree, nothing WRONG with that – but many women are still clueless when they ARE being used for it.

      Reply
  • Ellen Jun 19, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    Good grief. It sounds like most of these questions and comments were generated by a computer.
    It’s a good article and something that is spelled out in detail in, “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Many women I know won’t read the book because they erroneously think they know what’s in it or because they don’t want to hear the way it really is.

    Reply
    • Deborah Reynolds   Ellen Jun 24, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      LOL Ellen – nope they’re 100% real hah

      Reply
  • Marie Jun 16, 2015 at 9:07 am

    5 years ago I tollaly watch the love for want as my husband fall out of me right though the deck. Shortly after I ran into A man (married) I secretly desired for many years made Apoint to give him my #. ……… This is story to be told.

    Reply

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