Question: My parents fought a lot when I was younger and I feel as if that is the reason why I am 25 and have never been in a relationship. How can I get past this hangup?
Answer: Sounds like you’re ready to do some healing, love. Great. It’s easy to just stay busy, so I honor you for your willingness to look, feel, breathe and tell the truth. These capacities will lead to more success dating. These very skills are required when they don’t text, or when you have a misunderstanding or when things are going really well and your heart is so wide you think you’re going to explode in joy!
While you may have developed certain beliefs, survival mechanisms and behaviors based on watching your parents fight, let’s not give them exclusive power over your entire life today, yes? 😉
So first, do you believe you’re broken or cursed because of their divorce? Do you believe because you never saw true love that you can somehow are unable to be successful at love?
Let’s use the context of what they showed you, not as an excuse to hide or doubt or paralyzed in fear… instead let’s use it as great information of what you DON’T want, so you can choose what you DO want.
Why don’t we be GRATEFUL to learn what doesn’t work between two people so you can get clear about WHAT you do desire and then FEEL the feelings of what you choose and move in the direction of that, yes?
Here a process that will get you where you want to go:
1. Look Under the Hood
Discover sabotaging beliefs and shift worse case programming.
2. Sit in the Fire
Heal the cellular memories, forgive the past, release the pain for good.
3. Little You
Heal fear of rejection by learning to soothe your inner child.
4. Bigger Than Circumstances
Open and awaken your core self worth.
5. Rituals of Intimacy
Embody vulnerability and learn how to effectively communicate.
6. Dance With the Mystery
Develop courageous freedom to trust in the unknown.
7. Eyes Wide Open Communion
Celebrate sacred sexuality and awaken his noble badass.
The most important step for you is the first because whether it’s true of not, you believe your parents fighting is the reason you are single.
It could be that as a small child you learned to check out, you weren’t present, expected the worse, were afraid all the time, never relaxed, opened and exhaled, were always on guard and never connected to your heart, your truth, your knowing, self worth, trust in people or in the Universe. Does that resonate?
Are you now uneasy with people or overly controlling on dates because you’re afraid for anger to break loose like growing up? Or are you super relaxed yet you sabotage things before they can hurt you, leave you, yell at you?
Again I could TELL you to stop worrying but your cellular programming is running the show here. So I recommend you get into my world and start reading my newsletters and watching my videos which themselves are very healing.
Second a great home study curriculum that erases deep cellular memories about intimacy, dating, relationship and your body is my program “Your Delicious Body.” Please see my bio below for the link to it.
And third if you’re ready to make your dating success a priority this year and invest the time, energy and finances in doing the deep work that will set you up for success dating, moving to sexuality, exclusivity, and one day marriage, then the best investment you could make is doing a series of 6 potent healing empowering sessions with me. You can apply for a complimentary strategy session by clicking the link in my bio below.
Bottom line is that no matter the past, it has no power over you less the power you give it. So let’s say, “Thank you for giving me my upbringing because now I can choose to find peace in my skin, openness in my heart and success in my dating life knowing how valuable conscious healthy intimacy truly is.”
I look forward to hearing from you, huge love, Allana xoxo