Question: I finally gathered the courage to ask a girl out and the date was going well, until I started feeling sick. I ended up spending most of the date in the bathroom!
Answer: Oh my goodness, how atrocious to get sick during a date! And for her to clearly feel that you ditched her when that was not the case at all! I totally get how you feel embarrassed and are probably spinning in your head wondering what she thinks about you, yes? Are you feeling timid or even terrified to call and risk being further humiliated?
Great man, there was a moment when you had the courage to ask her out, yes? And the date was going well, yes? I encourage you to find that moment of courage and pick up the phone and call her. You certainly don’t need to apologize for being sick but yes, you want to apologize for her thinking that you had ditched her.
Explain that you would never want her to think that she was anything other than cherished and special and valued. Share that you were so embarrassed that you got sick and felt so bad that she had left by the time you returned, that you took a few days to get the courage to call her. Yet you wanted her to know that you think she’s awesome, and that you were having a great time, that you feel totally healthy again and would be so grateful if she would give you a ‘do over‘… if she would be gracious enough to let you make up for the damage done and take her out for dinner again?
Shit happens. It happens on dates and it happens in the bedroom and it happens in exclusive relationships and it happens in marriages and it happens parenting… It always happens! The question is… will you react and contract or will you keep your heart open and respond with a vulnerability and courage?
True intimacy that lasts requires the cultivation of an open heart that’s willing to be honest and show up courageously even when the risk of rejection is there.
We either act from the inspiration of love or the motivation of fear, yes? We can choose to be bigger than our circumstances and be our best selves no matter what the outcome is. This takes commitment and practice and most of all, the choice to define your worth from the inside out… not from another’s opinion of you.
I personally would be touched that a man took the time to reach out and set things straight so that I wasn’t sitting in anger, rejection or sadness… That would feel good to me. And if indeed this girl is as awesome as you think she has, I would give her the chance to respond graciously and go for a date again with you…
And worst case scenario, if she never calls back, you can rest knowing you showed up as a noble bad ass 🙂 even if you were a queazy feeling noble that ass in the bathroom. XO XO
I’d love to share more about how to cultivate that masculine grandeur and courage to show up in the face of anything and I encourage you to download my complementary training called “How to be a Noble Bad Ass“ that can be found at at the link in my bio below.
And if you are a woman… The exact same dynamic applies here for you! Please download my complementary training for women called “Vulnerability is the New Sexy“ found at in my bio below.
And if you’re noticing repeating patterns were you can’t seem to get past the fear of rejection and heal your wounded heart, that you can’t seem to define your worth from the inside out and tend to give your power away to other’s opinions of you, I encourage you to take action that will create the transformational lasting results you desire by applying for a complementary strategy session with me personally at the link in my bio below!
Life’s challenges are here to invite the emergence of our grandeur. Promise.