Your dating picker is arguably the most important tool in your dating arsenal, yet unlike knowing when your car doesn’t work or when your hair dryer is on the fritz, so many daters out there have no clue that their dating picker is ever broken.
They just date the wrong guy over and over again as if they are on some sick dating merry-go-round. Despite the fact that today we have countless dating sites and apps that can help narrow down our dating pool and more dating, tips and tricks out there than ever before, we still have a divorce rate in this country that hovers over 40%.
And to think, this percentage does not include all the couples that break up after getting engaged, or after moving in together, or after numerous years monogamy.
The fact of the matter is that so much less of your dating time would be wasted if you could just diagnose and fix your broken dating picker. This is why I provide Conscious Dating Programs to help singles to become self- aware of habits and stop wasting time with the wrong partners.
But today, I want to give you some tips to start creating awareness in your own dating life, here’s my Top 10 Signs Your Dating Picker May Be Broken and How to Fix it.
- You find yourself as a Rescuer, only dating men that you have to fix or whose lives you try to improve every day.
- You settle for lopsided arrangements where you spend all the quality time doing what he wants or needs, and little doing what you want or need.
- Almost any man who pays attention to you or seems to say the right things gets your attention.
- Some of your dating choices may end up with a pattern of cheating, lying, or disappearing without a trace.
- You enter into a relationship with a man who seems to reincarnate into a different body, and the pattern happens over and over again.
- You think more about being in any relationship more than thinking about being in the right relationship.
- You’re beginning to doubt your dating choices and ability.
- You question your worth or feel undeserving of love and happiness.
- You aren’t taking accountability for your choice in boyfriends, rather you blame all men for your lack of dating success.
- You don’t know your Non-negotiables or are confused and think what you require in a relationship is only chemistry (this isn’t the only thing that makes a lasting relationship).
If you find that you are checking off one or more on this list then guess what, your dating picker is definitely broken. The good news is starting today, you can take the steps to fix it. It all starts with the decision to do so. Then, comes the easy part, learning the tools that make up a good, strong, dependable dating picker.
The first order of business is to understand #10, the last item on the list. Non-negotiables are the single most important dating tool you will ever learn. For my clients who learn them they are game changers and it all starts with writing down a single list of the values you must have in a relationship to work. Most of my clients have about 10 of them and they are things like “He treats me like a priority” or “He wants to start a family.”
The key to defining this list is that whatever you put on it, no matter what the man you are testing against, it looks like, no matter how awesome he is, no matter how much you and your parent’s like him, if even one of your Non-negotiables is not met, you must end it. You cannot date them, period! It sounds harsh, but that is how Non-negotiables work.
Think of them as the foundation of a building. If you suddenly, rip out part of the foundation, the building will no longer be stable and eventually come crashing to the ground. My job as a relationship coach is to make sure you understand your Non-negotiable and how to screen them against your prospective dates.
And I can tell you, dating becomes so, so, so much easier once you have them. Dating will actually be fun because you will be able to see so clearly. If you would like to learn more about your Non-negotiables visit see my bio below and visit my website!
Is there a special guy you have set your sights on, but you don’t know how to get him? Do you wish you knew what to do to make him yours? Claire Casey’s Capture His Heart is exactly what you need. For a step-by-step guide to wrapping that man around your finger… CLICK HERE!