Have you been hit on by a guy you were not attracted to? Many women struggle with how to turn down an undesirable prospect in a way that his feelings are not hurt, but he gets the message.
Perhaps you lied that you’re in a relationship or used an excuse like “I’m not dating right now.” And maybe you’ve been concerned that you’re sending the wrong message to the Universe and this will prevent you from attracting your Soul Mate? Lying never feels good, even if you do it out of a noble intent to protect someone’s feelings. And here are a few ways to be honest, kind, and get the point across.
1. Just Say No
“No.” can be a complete sentence. The moment you start explaining yourself why you’re saying no, you’re opening the door to a potential discussion. And the more information you give, the more there is to talk about. If you’re really not interested in a man who asks for your phone number or asks you out, simply say “No, thank you” and smile. Silence after this short answer is golden.
If someone is unpleasantly persistent and starts asking why not, you can jokingly quote Miranda Warning and say “I have the right to remain silent, for anything I say can and will be used to further this conversation. And I’d like to end it now.” And smile again. Hopefully he’ll get the message.
Bottom line: be firm and concise with your “No.” This applies to complete strangers you don’t have any history with. If an acquaintance wants to date you, you may need a softer approach.
2. I Have No Romantic Interest
When a man in your social circle starts making advances, but you’re not reciprocating his interest, saying “no” can be tricky. You may genuinely like this person as a friend and afraid of losing him. However, no real friendship can survive on a foundation of a lie. If you’re aware of his romantic interest and you don’t let him know that you’re not feeling the same way about him, you’ll both feel uncomfortable and confused.
Refer to him as a friend rather often, and make it very clear between the lines that you’re not interested in anything else. If he starts complimenting you in a romantic way or asks you out, you can say “Your comments are flattering, but they make me uncomfortable, because I appreciate you as a person, but I have no romantic interest. I hope you can respect that.” Be kind and straight to the point.
There is no need to sugar coat anything or mislead him, for this may create misunderstandings that you may have to deal with later. By being direct you’re also helping him to get over you and move forward.
3. Ghosting, Even If You Hate It
If you’re an honest and responsible person, you may hate ghosting. Yet, there are some cases, when this response of ignorance is the most productive.
Almost every woman has come across a creep who just doesn’t get it. And they can range from simply annoying to scary. In this case, disregarding, blocking, unfriending, or deleting is a proper action to take. Your safety may be at stake here, and you don’t want to take any chances.
If a man refuses to respect your wishes, you have no moral obligation in trying to protect his feelings and self-esteem. The faster you eliminate this wired energy out of your life the better. Give yourself a permission to take care of yourself first.
Saying “no” can be of service. Perhaps you’ve been on the other side of the equation, when you were attracted to the guy and you were not sure if he likes you. Likely, hearing “I’m not attracted to you” is not pleasant, but it’s a lot better than entertaining false hopes and eliminating other prospects.