By · @Soflamuse  ·  · 69 Shares

Life is good and even seems promising. You’ve fallen in love and your honey excites you on so many levels. Yet what should be one of the happiest moments in your life has turned into a personal nightmare.

Skin Color: Does it Have a Huge Effect in Finding the Right One for You?You’re getting advice to walk away and end it. It’s not that this person is abusive or unkind. They just don’t fit most peoples’ mold of a suitable partner. And all because you two don’t share the same skin color.

According to Pew Research Center’s census data, in 2013, a record-high of 12% of newlyweds married someone of a different race. This does not take into account the “interethnic” marriages between Latinos and non-Latinos. In fact, 6.3% of all marriages were between spouses of different races that same year. This was up from less than 1% in 1970.

Times are a changing. In 2014, 37% of Americans said having more people of different races marrying was a good thing for society. This was up from 24% four years earlier. In 2014 only 9% felt that this trend was a bad thing for society. 51% said it didn’t make much difference.

According to the latest census data, there are over 5 million interracially-married couples in the US. That’s 9.5 percent of all married Americans. While the most common combination seems to be Latinos and Whites, some racial groups are more likely to intermarry than others. Of the 3.6 million adults who got married in 2013, 58% of Native Americans, 28% of Asians, 19% of blacks, and 7% of whites have a spouse whose race is different from their own.

Yet given these encouraging statistics, why do so many of us fear venturing outside of our comfort zone?

We profess to be cool and open-minded. In reality we are not. Our experiences with people of different races are limited to what we see or hear on TV. And what we see or hear is fed to us in disparaging Technicolor. Talk about stereotypes. Welcome to the world of the thug, drug dealer, welfare recipient and terrorist.

Fear of the unknown is what I call it. We convince ourselves that similarity of upbringing makes for a stronger connection. This is not always true.

As an equal opportunity dater, I have gotten some very nice surprises when I have ventured outside of my comfort zone. I have met and enjoyed people I never would have met, had I not kept an open mind.

Take for example, the African American up and coming attorney for a major company who just happened to speak German and Japanese fluently. And no, he was never in the army. There was the blonde-haired, blue-eyed filmmaker who’d been adopted by African-American parents. His perspective and understanding of life, and race relations made for interesting conversation. Then there was the East Indian entrepreneur, so good looking, he could have starred in a Bollywood movie. Both his eloquence and personal style made him a head turner.

My Iranian date was one of the most cultured and well-read men I have ever met. And my ex-husband, who was as Aryan looking as they come, turned out to be one of the most liberal and progressive men I have ever encountered.

What it boils down to is that people are people. By ruling out a person because of their skin tone, you just might lose out on the love of your life. So before deciding your admirer is not worthy, take a look at his character, and not his skin color.

Find out how you can make a man not only love you, but make him ADDICTED to you… CLICK HERE!

Marcia King-Gamble

Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This former travel industry executive and current world traveler has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned 26 books and 6 novellas. Her free time is spent at the gym, traveling to exotic locales, and caring for her animal family.

Visit Marcia at or “friend” her on Facebook. Marcia’s latest release, a novella “Islands Apart” is available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and on Apple.

What Do You Think?

5 Comments | Join the discussion

  • M Desiré Jan 25, 2017 at 6:06 am

    Guess I never really thought about it too much. Now am wondering….this here is giving me food for thought. Maybe I never really met anyone. Maybe I am not paying attention. But the comfort zone aspect of things must have played a part in things but you know what? These days am beginning to think and dream otherwise. If the right one shows up regardless of color as long as he passes my test …who knows. I may venture out of the comfort zone.

  • Kathleen Lawless Jan 24, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    I totally agree. People are people. I never gave a thought to skin tone when I was dating. They say people with ear lobes are attracted to others with similar lobes, which I found to be interestingly true. But seriously, it’s about personality, humour, kindness and values at the end of the day.

    • Marcia   Kathleen Lawless Jan 26, 2017 at 5:30 am

      Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone is exactly what you need to bring passion back into your life. We miss out on so many wonderful opportunities if we approach life with a closed mind!

    • Marcia   Kathleen Lawless Jan 26, 2017 at 5:32 am

      Well said, Kathleen. I couldn’t have said it better. Traits and values should be what counts. So many of us get caught up in the superficial and miss out on meeting the right person.

  • Julie O Jan 23, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    I had a friend who had finally left her abusive caucasian boyfriend. She started dating an amazing black man. I happened to be at her house when her father burst in to verbally attack her for seeing this amazing man. Sometimes I just can’t keep my mouth shut…
    I looked at my friend and out came… I can see why your father would prefer you to see an abusive white man over a black man that treats you like a princess. I mean who wouldn’t want a man to beat their daughter so the father verbal attacks wouldn’t look as bad.
    The dad had the mouth opening /closing thing going on with nothing coming out. He finally turned and walked back out without saying another word. She received a phone call two days later where the dad apologized and said that while he didn’t like it, he would give the new guy a chance.
    It’s all about perspective and I handed it to him on a silver platter. 🙂


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