Here’s a very heartbreaking situation women find themselves in and it doesn’t have to be this way!!
Have you ever experienced a man coming on super strong in the beginning; calling, texting, making plans, talking about the future and introducing you to friends and family – only to have him start to pull away, withdraw and say he’s confused and he needs some time and space?
The worst part about it is, no matter what you try and do to get your mind off of him, you feel horrible and compelled to send him a message, or call him – anything to get some relief from this situation.
When you learn and understand how men and relationships really work, you’ll never find yourself in this situation again. You’ll understand how to re-balance a relationship that’s become off balance.
If you don’t learn and understand how men and relationships really work, you’ll find yourself worrying and feeling confused as to why your man does what he does and why your relationships never feel as good as you want them to.
You’ll find yourself accidentally doing and saying things that don’t work when it comes to having the love and connection you truly desire.
2 Simple Steps To Get Your Power Back If He’s Becoming Distant And Pulling Away
Step #1: The Most Important Thing to Do if Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Pulling Away Is NOTHING.
(This is actually invisible action. It takes a lot of strength and self-control to not react and to manage your energy.)
I know this goes against everything you’ve probably been told by well meaning friends and family, or what your natural instincts want you to do.
When a man pulls away, it’s devastating and heartbreaking. If you reach out to him to try and get some clarity as to what’s going on, it never feels good like you think it’s going to feel. In fact, it only makes you feel worse and more insecure (even though you’re not an insecure woman!!).
Here’s what to do:
- If he’s choosing to create space – the most empowering thing you can do is allow that space to be there without acting through any type of urgency to close the gap or fix it. (You may think this is inauthentic or playing games but it’s the complete opposite!! You are a woman who refuses to chase or pursue a man who’s choosing to create space between the two of you. It’s a completely different energy because you’re not doing something in order to try and get him to do something. It’s for YOU to get your power back.)
- Trust that if he’s the man for you, he’s going to close the gap all on his own – without you even needing to say something. (He doesn’t need your help!!)
- If he’s not the man for you, you’ll know!! You’ll have the clarity you need simply by how you feel. If things feel bad there’s a reason!
- If he’s not in front of you, he doesn’t exist! (Easier said than done, I know!)
You may not want to do these things I just listed. If you do, you’ll start to feel stronger from the inside out. He’ll be able to feel this energetically (EVERYTHING is energy) and IF he’s the man for you, he’ll come close again.
A typical mistake women make when a man comes close again is, they shut down, or they act like everything’s ok when it’s not, or they lash out.
Step #2. Express How You Feel Without Blaming Him Or Making Him Wrong
He calls, texts or comes over. Notice how you feel. Most likely you feel happy to see him AND you feel confused. Let him talk first. As women, it’s so ingrained in us to start talking first, especially if there’s any awkward silence. We can barely stand it. See what he has to say. Notice how it feels to you. It will either bring feelings of relief or you’ll feel that something is off still.
Here are two typical scenarios:
Him: “Hi, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’ve been working through some things, I would love to take you out to dinner.”
You: “Hi, It feels good to see you (because it does otherwise you wouldn’t even care if he pulled away) thank you for saying that, it would feel good to go to dinner…”
Him: “What’s up?” (No acknowledgement of his behavior) Or, “Work has been really busy, do you want to come over and watch a movie?” (Last minute plans.)
You: “Hmmm… thank you for the invite but it feels better to me to have plans made more in advance.”
(Let him answer, and really hear him. Most likely, no woman has ever talk to him in this way. Notice how you feel when you can authentically express how you’re feeling without blaming him or making him wrong.)
Let me know if this was helpful to you! I love hearing your updates!