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So, you’ve recently figured out that your girl is cheating on you.

Cheating Girlfriend Issue and How to Handle ItMaybe you caught her sending some skeevy texts to another man, saw her on a date with somebody else, or simply “heard it through the grapevine.” Regardless of how it happened, you know you need to confront her.

First of all, don’t make any rash decisions. You may be enraged right now, but you’ll want to take some time to yourself to process what’s happened and plan your confrontation.

1. DO Be Mindful of Location

When meeting up with the alleged cheater, be careful about where you decide to meet – and don’t give away any hints that you know she cheated, as that may deter her from showing up.

Generally, it’s best to avoid meeting in busier public places, as there’s a chance there will be some yelling, crying, or other high-flying emotions.

At the same time, meeting at your place or hers may also be a poor decision. It’s usually best to meet in a neutral location where there aren’t many people present.

2. DO Have a Game Plan

Furthermore, make sure you’ve got a detailed game plan, and don’t deviate from it when the time comes for your confrontation.

Some specific aspects of your game plan that you should prepare for include:

  • The consequences of her infidelity (will you break up?)
  • The evidence you have that she cheated
  • How you think she’ll react (will she deny it or admit it?)

While you can’t expect everything to go exactly as you planned, you should try to stick to your ideal game plan for the confrontation as much as possible. Most importantly, stick to what you decided in terms of the consequences.

If you’re going to break up with her, make that clear and don’t let her persuade you otherwise. Don’t fall for promises like “it’ll never happen again” because people who cheat once tend to cheat multiple times. Why subject yourself to any more pain and betrayal?

3. DON’T Accept Excuses

Finally, have some conviction and don’t accept any excuses or name-calling.

A lot of times, women who have cheated will try to turn the tables on the men they cheated on in an effort to make themselves feel less guilty or to justify their actions. For example, in response to your accusations of her cheating, she might try to say something along the lines of “Well, you never pay any attention to me!”

At the end of the day, however, there’s no justifiable excuse for cheating, so don’t subject yourself to any of that. Get up and walk away if you have to, but don’t take those excuses seriously for a second.

Finding out your girl is cheating on you can be devastating, but it’s better to find out now than later on down the road.

After all, a woman who would cheat on you most likely isn’t worth your time, love, or continued affection.

Often times, the confrontation after finding out is the hardest part, though keeping these tips in mind can help to make the process go a little more smoothly. From there, you can stop wasting your time on a dishonest person, move on with your life, and make more time for the things that make you happy.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

Jasbina Ahluwalia is an attorney turned entrepreneur, happily married, second-generation, Indian-American Relationship Expert, Dating Coach, Matchmaker and Radio Show Host.

She is the Founder and President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, The Only Premier Full-Service -> Selective Search, Dating / Relationship Coaching & Online Dating Support Firm -> For Indian Singles.

What Do You Think?

5 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Art Apr 15, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Cheaters suck!

    Reply
  • Leila Apr 11, 2015 at 12:32 am

    This is good advice. It gives the person who was cheated on a chance to find out the truth of the matter and to get some closure, which most likely wouldn’t happen if a process wasn’t decided on in the first place. I also think the advice that you should not accept apologies as a way out is sound. I expect it’s a usual occurrence for the cheater to try to say sorry and it won’t happen again, but trust is a difficult thing to retain in the face of such evidence and you would be better off ending the relationship – most likely.

    Reply
  • Mlungisi Apr 10, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    If she was born a hoe no ways I can change her she will die that way some things never change. .

    Reply
  • Alicat Apr 10, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Most men always blame the woman when they cheat too!

    Reply
  • Really? Apr 10, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    @Neil Armstrong, and I assume you also believe that if I man cheats on a woman, he is a dirtbag…you really must be stupid. Men don’t control women’s actions. They have agency. They are equally responsible and culpable for their actions.

    Reply

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