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There comes a time in every relationship where you reach that make or break point.  It’s the point where you start asking yourself the question…

”Is this really worth it?”

You’re probably there right now….otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

The decision to hang in there and “make it work,” or to “cut bait” and move on is never an easy one, but this article will help you define a clear path. Once that path is determined, the next thing is how to go about making it happen in a healthy and positive way.  Sounds like a tall order, doesn’t it?  Well, read on my friend.

First of all, you have to define what it is that YOU want.  And that happens by asking the RIGHT questions…

1.  Is your relationship serving and fostering your highest good?

2.  Are you on the same page with your partner physically, spiritually, and emotionally?

3.  Are your partner’s qualities what you’re REALLY looking for in a mate?

4.  Am I just being lazy and taking the convenient route?

If you’re truly honest with yourself, these questions will make it very easy to determine if you should stay together or break-up.

If you decide to stay together, great!  I applaud you.  But, should you decide to end it, how do you handle the dreaded act of actually telling your partner?

Actually, once you know that ending your relationship is what’s best for everyone, it’s easy to have “the conversation,” but you have to do it right.

Here’s how…

1.  Speak to their soul first.

OK, I know this sounds a little “out there,” but it works.  BEFORE you even suggest, schedule, or have a conversation, MEDITATE on a positive outcome.  Send a thought to your partner letting them know that breaking up is what will allow you both to reach your highest potential, and that when you do, everything will be fine.

2.  Schedule time to speak.

Unless there are some unusual circumstances, this is not something that should be done via email, text, or telephone.  Tell your partner you want to make time IN PERSON to talk.

3.  Get in the right frame of mind.

Just before your conversation, take a few deep breaths.  Close your eyes.  RELAX.  This IS going to go well.

4.  PRAISE the other person.

When you let your partner know that it’s over, remind them of their STRENGTHS.  Let them know that you have their highest good in mind, and that you want what is BEST for them.  Do NOT point out their faults, or point fingers.  It’s simply in both parties’ best interests to move on.

5.  Be clear and concise.

Do NOT get into a “but you did this…but you did that” type of conversation.  Do not entertain “…but why?” type questions.  If you must answer, you can let them know that you are letting them go so they can find someone better suited to them than you are.

6.  THANK them.

Give them credit for how much they’ve given to you, and for the wonderful experiences that you’ve shared together.  Thank them for the how much you’ve learned from them.

7.  HUG them.

Yes, hug them.  Then, wish them the best and LEAVE.  There is no reason to hang around.

8.  Give it time.

Do NOT contact them.  Give them time to digest this.  Give YOURSELF time to digest and recover.

Using this formula will make any break-up much easier.  After I broke up with my last girlfriend, she called me a week later to tell me that it was the sweetest breakup she had ever experienced, and that she felt LOVED and RESPECTED.

So, HONOR the other person.  There’s a reason why you were attracted to them in the first place.  You CAN do this with LOVE and RESPECT.

Jeff Schechter

Jeff Schechter, or “Shecky” as his friends call him, was born to an average middle class American family. Although he always had great friends and family, he never really figured out how to attract the right women. At age 50 he found himself riddled with family problems…and single. It was not until a fateful business lunch, that he stumbled on a secret for older guys to be able to attract any woman they want. He has since refined and tested this idea, and shares it in his books. His mission is to help one million middle-aged men avoid the mid-life crisis that nearly devastated him, and to live lives enriched with the abundance of love. CLICK HERE to download his Free Report “The 10 Commandments To Attracting & Dating Younger Women” NOW!

What Do You Think?

3 Comments | Join the discussion

  • John Dec 11, 2013 at 7:55 am

    My Girlfriend of 4 years broke-up with me after I caught her cheating on me. I bought her a 3.7 cart Dia Ring & was going to give it to her on Dec 7, 2013 & we were to be Married in June of 2014. This was not the first time she cheated during our 4 years together, but she did promise me she would never cheat again. So now, today we are no longer seeing one another & I must admit I do Miss her lots. She is already seeing some-one new but tells me she Loves me but not the way I Love her. Really? What does that mean? any ways, I do Love her and when we are together, we are good. but when I leave to go home or Travel on Business, she looks on the internet for others. what am I Missing with her? Also I just found-out she is Taking Prozac & wondering if this is the problem with her emotions? Thanks, John

    • jay   John Aug 2, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      hey john, i find myself in the exact same situation as yourself. except 3 months ago mine decided it should be over and even changed number.

  • Jason Aug 20, 2013 at 8:29 am

    An ex and I created a thing called “The Breakup BBQ”. Both of us knew it was time for us to move on, but she had become friends with all my friends & their wives and many of them looked up to us as the model couple. While we loved each other a ton, we just knew it was time to split, so we thought it would be a great idea to have a party to let our friends know that we were still cool with each other and we didn’t want any of our friends to be weirded out about inviting her to future events and get togethers and such. Breaking up doesn’t always have to be dramatic and full of ill will. Great article buddy.


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