By  ·  · 3.2K Shares

Cheater in a Relationship and Their SecretsIt’s not easy to spot a cheater. Sometimes they’re so thorough with their alibis and distractions that an affair can go on for years without the other person finding out. But there are a couple subtle telltale behaviors that will give them away.

The following is a list of behaviors typically displayed by a cheater:

1) They Stray From Their Routine

Any romantic relationship will eventually lead to an intimate knowledge of the other’s behaviors: what they do and where they go during they day, when they get tired, when they get hungry, etc. The first sign of a cheater will be the subtle ways that these change. Romantic partners, given enough time, will share an unspoken bond, and if changes in the routine trigger negative feelings, then it might be a sign of the partner’s infidelity.

2) They’re Secretive About Their Computer Usage

The Internet has been a instrumental in abiding cheaters—everything from Facebook flirting to instant messenger. If your partner suddenly becomes secretive about their computer usage—shutting windows down when you enter the room, for example—it may be cause for concern.

3) They Become More Concerned About Their Style

The interest of someone who’s not their partner will make the cheater more concerned with their style. New clothing, a new hairstyle, or a “fresh look,”—all could be signs of cheater trying to impress their new interest.

4) They Want More Privacy

A cheater may become more despondent and, therefore, may prefer more alone time. This could be a sign of guilt or dissatisfaction with the home life compared to the cheating life.

5) They Become More Emotionally Unstable

Increased anger and/or a desire to argue are also signs of a cheater. Arguments are methods used to push away from you and spend more time with their love interest.

6) There’s a Drastic Change in Their Bedtime Behavior

A drastic change in their bedtime behavior could mean your partner is cheating. On one hand, they might be more aggressive in an effort to match the intimacy of their affair. On the other hand, they might suddenly have a lack of any interest, which is probably a result of guilt.

7) They Hide Finances

Shared finances are common in any romantic relationship. However, a cheater will go to great lengths to hide expenditures spent in maintaining an affair. Hotels, restaurants, and other gifts will certainly evoke suspicion, so cheaters will keep those from showing up on shared bank statements by using personal accounts, Paypal, or other financial tools.

8) Their Plans Become More Vague

If your significant other used to be detailed about their plans—going into great detail about the movie they saw or who was there, for example—but suddenly resort to “it was fine”-type answers, that could be a sign of a cheater.

9) They Hide Their Phones

Texting is the preferred method of communication these days, but if you notice your partner suddenly with more discretion, that could be a warning sign. Cheaters will also leave the room to text with more frequency. Beware the partner that suddenly becomes more guarded with their texts.

10) They Have a Sudden Interest in Exercise

Long-term relationships are characterized by the comfort we find in each other, and, therefore, a relaxed attitude toward keeping in shape. However, if your partner suddenly has a strong desire for strenuous exercise (more than just getting in shape), it may mean they want to impress someone new with their physique.

Alexandre and Adrian

We are a Team of Love Coaches who specialize in helping people get back with their ex. In business since 2007, we have helped more than 10,000 men and women bring back their ex into their lives by changing people’s bad habits and negative behaviors.

Alex and Adrian follow a unique approach and philosophy to love and relationships, one that has proven to be successful worldwide, and tailored to the specificities of each individual.


What Do You Think?

7 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Richard Jul 4, 2015 at 7:48 am

    Taylor, I know excactly how you feel. Me and my ex wife had a 13 year relationship as well. It happened a year prior also and I forgave her for the sake of my 9 year old daughter. It happenned again and Last October I moved out and getting divorced. I let her keep the doublewide that I had paid off by working my butt off while she never once had a job. I forgave her once. Mainly because I still loved her and I figured she was 18 when I met her and I was 29, so I figured maybe it was a confusion type of thing or that it wad something I didnt understand but yhat she would work througj it. Nope, she did it again with another previous boy fritend. My best advice is that you will find it easy to be in denial. Dont do it. You dont deserve to be walked on after giving for 13 years. I know it hurts but I promis it will heal. I still hurt at times, but I have met a new women my own age, shes 47 Im 43. A very beautiful 47 year old compassionate women. Im so excited to have met her that I need to be careful that I dont accept anything inorder to avoid being alone. Ok Taylor, I wish you luck. Richard D Grant on facebook liveing in Orlando. If you need any insight or to just vent you can hit me up?

  • jyoti Jul 3, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    U r right JUST GIVE UP THATS IT.

  • Taylor Jul 3, 2015 at 7:08 am

    This is happening to me right now and i got 10 out of the 10 signs that you have given. I caught him having a second account in facebook with a different name and all of his friends are girls. When i confronted him, he told yeah i made that account but it’s not mine it’s for my friend (who i know is cheating on his baby mother with multiple girls. Why did i knew that because he himself told me so) before this incident i saw a unknown photo of a girl on my tablet which he frequently used. He deleted it already and he thought i will no longer see it. When i ask him who is that girl he just said he dont know her and that maybe one of his friend downloaded it. (FYI that girl is one of his friend in his 2nd account in facebook. Talk about “coincidence”) Well, eventhough i have so many questions unanswered by him i just accept his reasons because i i admit that some of his friends borrowed it sometimes so i give him the benifit of the doubt. Now, hes very meticulous on what to wear unlike before he will wear anything comfortable. He is not also talking the things that happen to him that day before he sleeps (which he always does by the way) He’s also now into fitness and getting abs. And if your with someone that long you know if he does it for you which i dont feel. He’s very secretive on his phone. When i borrowed his phone my number is not saved on it. And there’s so many unquestionable numbers of different girls there. It’s just sad because were on our 13 yrs now. I guess the years wont matter anymore. I’ve come to the point that i am so depressed that i dont have anymore reasons to wake up in the morning. I feel unwanted and unworthy of anyones love that’s the exact words to describe my feelings. I am not a saint neither a perfect partner i have flaws also but i am very faithful. I am mad. If you dont want me in your life then tell me so. Because honestly i cannot. If your happy with her just go and be a man to tell it to my face. In that way it’s somehow relieving. It will hurt a lot but it will pass i know in time. Your telling me i am crazy for thinking that your cheating but i know deep in my heart you do. And it’s just unbearable that youre telling me that you love me but your doing this. Your action shows it. Now, it still hurt and i still loved him but i am stonger now and in the process of accepting the fact that my only options is just give up. Because it will never work in any relationship if only one is fighting for it.

    • Not so blind   Taylor Jul 3, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      I went thru the same thing after 25 years of marriage. He was up on his computer at 2 and 3 am. I got very sick and was home from work for a week. Saw he signed up for ( I went thru his computer history). When I confronted him he said that he just looked at but somehow it automatically joined him. Do you think I am that stupid? You set up an account with a fictitious name (no picture) and hometown was where you work. Fess up bud. Well he never did fess up to anything, he denied that he set up the account. Needless to say, we are still living under the same roof. He has done everything in his power to try to make me happy. Deleted the account (that he never set up), wants to take me out all the time, planning a vacation etc. I told him don’t bother. I will never trust you again and won’t live the rest of my life unhappy or never being able to trust him again. Forget the counseling shit. I’ll never get over it. Waiting for the last child to go to college this fall and I am out. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don’t care if it’s physical or not.

      • Mr   Not so blind Jul 9, 2015 at 4:44 am

        Just because a man signs on to a or other service doesn’t mean he’s a cheater.. just means most times he just needs someone even a stranger to pay attention to him.
        Your attitude now is most likely why he went online to talk to a friendly female, and when you confronted him unlike a female he stumbled cause we all know females can and do hide and lie so much better.
        YOUR excuse I’m here now just for the children is especially telling. YOUR not the partner he thought you were SO keep up pushing him away he doesnt’ deserve a partner who can’t see they just might be the problem. What you are doing now is most likely what you did in the past.

  • Leila Jul 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

    Wow! This list sounds like some of the behaviours of a teenager who doesn’t feel in control of their life. Maybe it’s just the behaviour of someone who doesn’t know how to address the problems in their relationship or feels powerless to do anything about them. Admittedly, they would get you some attention, but obviously they – if they are symptoms of an affair – could also ruin your relationship.

    • Cindy   Leila Jul 3, 2015 at 5:27 am

      Each and every one of the above mentioned traits are correct….
      I was a first hand witness to all of them when my long long term partner was cheating on me.
      Suddenly you feel that you are living with a total stranger,
      The harder you try to relate to him the farther he pushed you.
      I pray none should ever be cheated.


Leave a Comment

Your name will appear above your comment. You may use a “pen name”.