It’s finally time! After all the searching and sifting you’re getting ready to go on that first date. Now that all the swiping and profile viewing is over with, it’s time to focus on the reality of your date.
Traditional first dates tend to be very interrogative. Ladies, if you want to ruin a first date, ask him all about his childhood, gaps in employment, and obtain his tax records for the past 5 years, etc… Guys if you want to ruin a first date, stare at other women, don’t look your date in the eye and expect only sex.
Taking a first date as seriously as a grand jury investigation will only deprive you of the fun experience a first date should be. Of course this is a major evaluation in your life and you have to get to know your potential partner thoroughly. Here’s a word of advice: don’t do it all on the first date!
It’s also less likely there will be a second date if you approach it this way. When you go into a date like this, you are poised to be judgmental. If you are looking for negative things, seek and you shall find.
So how should you approach a first date? What goals should you set?
Here are a few simple ones that should ensure you a fun light-hearted evening. There’s no need to make it hard on yourselves. Just make the date simple and aim for a few of the following goals. Save the deep stuff for dates 3 and beyond. Guys you should be focusing on:
1. Making Her Laugh
This is quite possibly the most important part of a first date. Laughter dissolves anxiety and promotes comfort. It opens the door to move into freer, more relaxed discussion and sparks an ease of tension between the two of you.
2. Making the Date Comfortable
Don’t take the big risk of doing something so outrageous for someone that it will make you nervous and destroy the sense of focus and comfort that should come with a date. Put yourselves in a situation where you can focus on your partner as opposed to making sure everything goes right.
3. Making Her Feel Safe
Don’t be too pushy. Don’t press your agenda if you have one. At first allow the date to move at her pace. This should naturally turn the date to move at its own pace. This will make her feel more comfortable and safer with you and the value of that in the long-run can barely be put into words.
4. Establishing a Rapport
Save the highly personal questions for the future. Focus on finding points of common interest. Listen and look for topics that get the two of you talking. What do you like to do for fun? What are your passions and dreams?
Not only will this help ease first date anxiety, it will help you learn about your date’s style of communication and level of intelligence. Two things you can gauge without digging too deep by being to direct.
5. Enjoy Yourselves
You’re on a date with someone who finds you attractive and interesting! Don’t make it a fact finding mission. That’s it. Have fun above all else!