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You’ve just been out on a great first date. You had a lovely time and seemed to get on really well. You would love to see this person again and find out more about him or her.

It is very tempting to look them up on facebook and find out all about their life and their family and friends. This is OK to a certain degree, but do exercise caution – you could go too far too soon and scare them off.

Here are some tips on what not to do:

Don’t Friend them too soon. 

First Date and Friending on Facebook TipsRemember this was just a first date. There are lots you don’t know about each other yet, perhaps there won’t be other dates if he/she didn’t really like you as much as you liked them.

If the other person does not respond to your friend request you will be wondering why not. Also if they do accept your request and then you never have another date, you would have the dilemma of whether to unfriend them.

The best way is to hold back from getting too involved until you know each other better in real life.

Don’t change your status update.

Yes, you did have a good first date – but you are NOT in a relationship. You have been out with them once; you don’t know them very well yet. It is easy to get carried away with the euphoria of the moment if you’ve had fun and seemed to be in tune with each other. It is too soon. You are likely to scare them off if you declare to the world that you are now attached.

Don’t follow everything your date does on facebook.

First date Issues on Facebook and What to AvoidIt is very tempting to look at your dates profile and start liking things that they like or liking what they are doing. You may be thinking that this is a good way to connect and show that you are interested in the same things, but it is likely to have the opposite effect.

Don’t share too much information about your date to your friends.

You will be feeling happy that you’ve had a nice date and obviously want to share it with your friends, but remember facebook is public and anyone can see it. It could be embarrassing for your date if his/her friends and family see what you have posted, especially if you have shared all the intimate details of your date.

Don’t make flirty comments in the hope of attracting attention.

Maybe you’ve been on your date but not heard from them since. Making comments, particularly flirty ones, on their facebook postings could make it look as though you are trying too hard or are desperate. If they want to see you again, they will contact you, if they don’t, no amount of flirty talk will make them change their minds, in fact it is more likely to make them run.

Don’t go through your dates old photo’s and like them.

This can come across as creepy and is likely to freak them out.

Don’t read too much into your date’s facebook posts.

Many people like to share pictures of themselves having fun (sometimes drunkenly) with friends and family. It is easy let your imagination run away with you when you see posts of your date having a night out with other people. Don’t jump to conclusions. These people could be family members or old friends, not necessarily your rivals. Being jealous and suspicious could put your date off for good and you may well make yourself look very silly.

Facebook can be a great place to find out a bit more about other people and interact with them, but do follow the rules and take things slowly. Don’t forget that whenever you post something, it is there forever for the whole world to see. If you want to see your date again after the first meeting, it is wise to keep a low profile, however much you’d like to shout it to the world.

Gill Crowley

Gill Crowley has been running her own dating agency in the UK for the past 20 years and has helped thousands of people to find love over the years.  She has recently sold the business so that she can concentrate on writing. She contributes to a number of newsletter as well as her own blog. She is currently working on a number of ebooks, two of which are now available on Amazon Kindle. You can find details of these and her new book “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love with a Real Man in the Real World.” on her website and also learn more about Gill and her projects.  Please visit or follow her on twitter @tlcdating.

What Do You Think?

1 Comment | Join the discussion

  • Joe Jan 19, 2015 at 7:09 am

    An absolutely great article!


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