Flirting, dating, love, milestones, wedding, mortgage, kids, catastrophe…..and now you’ve landed in the world of singledom, voluntarily or not, without a map or compass.
You’ve dragged yourself off the sofa and are now cautiously poking your head outdoors, only to find that the dating world bears no resemblance to the way it looked when you left it. Statistically, you are probably in your 40s and its fifteen years since you were last immersed in the dating scene.
So how do you gracefully re-enter the dating game in this new social universe?
Consider online dating:
Let’s invest a moment to dispel those myths that have propelled themselves into your mind at the mention of finding a partner on the internet.
Myth – You will unknowingly fall prey to an attractive scammer who will fleece you of your hard-fought financial settlement. Assuming you already have the presence of mind to reject the nobility out of Africa that email you with propositions involving bank accounts and diversions of foreign aid, you are well equipped to spot these and weed them out.
Myth – It’s the domain of married players looking for a diversion. Not anymore. They are out there, but now they have their own playground in sites that specifically cater for extra-marital flings. If you do encounter a sneaky-married on a site pitched to singles, you’ll likely spot the tell-tale signs as easily as if you stumble across one in a bar.
Myth – Its mortifying to admit you are looking for love online. With one third of American marriages originating online, it’s now pleasantly mainstream.
Here are three reasons why online dating is a great way to jump back into the dating game.
- The act of writing your profile is a quick and easy boost to your self esteem. There are precious few opportunities to take stock of your accomplishments and assess what you bring to a relationship. Writing a profile allows you that opportunity.You have built a life of achievements around career and family, you have enriched your experience through learning and travel. Writing a profile encourages you to be confident but not boastful in telling your story: nail this balancing act and you are a long way towards managing a first-date conversation without fear.
- You will be encouraged by the sheer number of potential partners in your demographic that share your interests and values. If the lack of available singles in your work/social/family circle, let alone attractive available singles, was one of the most horrifying ‘aha’ moments of your newly single life, relax. You will be happily surprised to find that there are a tremendous number of interesting, accomplished singles in your demographic if you look online.Embracing this sense of abundance will also dispel that air of desperation about being single that is as much as a turnoff to a potential partner now as it was when you were last single.
- You can indulge in some low-risk dabbling in the world of dating-in-this-decade. Your street-smarts will help you spot the insincere and you can cull unsuitable pursuers very efficiently. You can, without guilt or drama, reject prospects for any reason you choose, or simply because you hit a busy patch at work or are heading away on holiday. If it gets too much – just opt out. The added advantage? You gain the fundamental insight that rejection is NOT personal – so if it comes your way you can dispense it without sting to the trash folder.Take it offline into the realm of a few first dates and beyond, and you can reacquaint yourself with the fundamental dating principles of banter, flirtation and fun. Then suddenly you realise it’s not so foreign, that you do speak the lingo, and you can navigate this new landscape armed with a new set of tools that didn’t even exist last time round.