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I hate Facebook. Every time I get on Facebook I lose all track of time.

I try to set “rules” like “I’ll only give myself five minutes and then, no matter what, I’ll get off” then twenty-five minutes later I realize I’m running late again.

As if losing track of time reading about the most mundane moments in people’s lives wasn’t bad enough I also see, over and over again, personal and intimate details about people’s lives, things they would never share in a face to face conversation.

I know when women are on their periods, when someone had a colorful (literally) bowel movement, I see pictures of disgusting cuts and bruises (typically in places I would rather not see), and find out when someone is mad at their girlfriend.

What’s really bad is I occasionally find myself updating my status with “I just saw a squirrel!” and the like. What?! Really?!?!

Facebook and Its Effects in RelationshipsBut besides all of this triviality the real reason I hate Facebook, and most social media platforms, is because of what people post about their spouses. Not the good stuff, I love to read tributes that spouses leave for one another or thank you’s that are issued for kind and thoughtful deeds. It’s the complaining, the griping, and, not to put to fine a point on it, but the backbiting that goes on.

Here’s why it bothers me so much. First off, your spouse is the person you are supposed to love more than anyone and anything else (other than God) in this life. They are to be your companion, best friend, lover, confidant, helpmate, better half, and the list could go on and on.

Is that how you treat your helpmate? Would you like your best friend to air your dirty laundry online?

Second, you are one. When you say something demeaning or derogatory about your spouse you are denigrating yourself. Many of us do put ourselves down, and we shouldn’t do it as much as we do, but what really irks me is when criticisms are leveled about one’s spouse and the person complaining doesn’t realize they’re putting themselves down to. Grow up.

Lastly, much of the time, if not all of the time, those airing the “scoop on their spouse” through social media haven’t even broached the subject with their spouse. The husband/wife may not even know that they’re upset.

No one is psychic, how in the world would your spouse know that you’re upset if you don’t communicate that to them?

Are they really supposed to read your Facebook feed to learn that they left the toilet seat up or took too long getting ready?!

Facebook and social media can be wonderful tools and can be used to really strengthen marriage.

Next time you’re getting ready to share what your husband or wife did that really hurt your feelings instead share with your virtual world something awesome that they did for you instead. You’ll feel better and if and when your spouse sees what you wrote (because they will!) they’ll feel better too.

Now to check my Instagram…

Tyson Cooper

Tyson Cooper has been married to the most beautiful woman, Cami, for nine years. They have five adorable sons and beg God to send them a girl. Tyson is passionate about reading, spending time in the outdoors, lounging in his hammock, spending time with his family and especially his wife. He believes that most of society’s ills can be remedied by strengthening marriage and the family. To this end he blogs at about marriage and family providing tips and suggestions on how to make struggling marriages better and good marriages great. Check it out!


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