Welcome back to the second part of this series! To Read Part 1, CLICK HERE!
Well, have read at what happened after just one coaching session where I taught Geffen how to avoid those mistakes and reignite the passion…
I’m writing to thank you for an unexpected gift you gave me in our coaching session last week.
Since my husband and I work together from home, the transition to date night can often be difficult to achieve. In the past, after twelve hours of working with clients and managing my businesses, I wasn’t feeling quite capable of making the emotional and mental shift to be a hot date for my husband!
I’m so grateful to have had the session with you last week because the tools you gave me helped us so much! As our recent date night neared, I kept hearing your words from our session and practiced the breathing technique you gave me, and to my surprise and my husband’s delight, what was meant to be a date night turned into an entire date weekend!
It was amazing to feel so connected, juicy, and delighted to be with the man I see every single day! A surprise gift for both of us.
Thank you for helping us resurrect the passion that brought us together in the first place!
With love, celebration, and awe,
So what did I teach Geffen that made such a difference?
I taught her how to harness the power of masculine and feminine energy within herself and her intimate relationship so she could tap into the “source” of that deep, everlasting passion and irresistible, magnetic attraction.
OK, so now for that pseudo-science lesson.
The moment you feel that deep passion that magnetically attracts you to your partner, what you’re FEELING is an arc of energy flowing between you.
That arc of energy is created by two polar opposites, just like two magnets.
Now, think about a magnet for a moment.
When you put the two “plus” ends of each magnet close together, they repel. The same thing happens if you put the two “minus” ends together. But if you put the two polar opposites together, the “minus” end of one magnet and the “plus” end of the other, they’re magnetically drawn together.
Finally revealed: Simple text messages any woman can you use to make your man CHASE you again (even if he barely pays attention to you at all now.) Watch the video now! CLICK HERE!
In your relationship, it’s the same, except one end of the magnet is the feminine and the other end of the magnet is the masculine.
So let’s just clarify something here for a moment. When I talk about masculine and feminine, I’m talking about masculine and feminine energy, not male and female bodies.
There are many layers to the conversation around masculine and feminine energy within you and the world. For the purpose of this book, I’m going to stick with the layers that are most relevant to you in relationship and how it impacts your ability to create and co-create that deep, passionate, magnetic attraction.
Like all of us, you have masculine and feminine energy within you. The masculine is the part of you that’s focused, outcome oriented, and purposeful. It’s the part of you that is driven to achieve results, perseveres to achieve its “mission,” and wants to feel the freedom of “winning.” At its core, the masculine principle IS freedom and so the masculine part of you will do anything to feel free.
Whereas the feminine is the part of you that desires connection, flow, feeling, love, movement, life, and creativity. The feminine is that feeling of fullness that comes from within. At its core, the feminine IS an expression of LOVE and so the feminine part of you yearns to give and receive love most fully. That’s why women and people who identify more with the feminine will oftentimes do anything for love.
Whether you’re in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, you’ll more than likely identify more with masculine or feminine as your “essence.” Generally, when you identify more with the masculine, you want to be the one to penetrate your partner and to “claim” your partner in intimacy. And if you identify more with the feminine, then you tend to want to be the one who is being “claimed” in love and ravished by your partner in lovemaking.
Now, like I said earlier, we all have masculine and feminine within us, so of course this is not a static rule and there are many layers to this, but it helps to define things for the purpose of clarity. Just know this…
It’s the dynamic play of masculine and feminine energy within you and in your intimate relationship that creates or kills that arc of energy that we call passion, or irresistible magnetic attraction.
So when you’re in your feminine and your partner is in his masculine, or vice versa, you’ll feel that powerful arc of energy between you that magnetically draws you together, in deep passionate embrace.
Knowing how to MAGNIFY that arc of energy is the real secret to deeper and long-lasting passion in relationship.
I’m telling you, once you harness the power of masculine and feminine energy within your intimate relationship, it won’t matter whether you’re making love, having dinner, or doing the dishes together.
AND you’ll avoid the passion-killer mistakes that most couples make without even realizing it.
So like I said earlier, when you put two “minus” ends or two “plus” ends of the magnet together, they repel. And it’s the same with you and your partner. If you’re both in your masculine, or both in your feminine, you repel each other. You KILL the PASSION in that moment. The feeling of magnetic irresistible attraction disappears instantly!
When this happens repeatedly over time, you begin to feel more like good friends than passionate lovers.
It’s great to be good friends, don’t get me wrong. In fact, it’s an essential part of a healthy relationship. But being just good friends, when you want to be good friends and passionate lovers, well, that feels pretty darn awful. And it’s that deep, loving passion that nurtures and sustains your intimate relationship and differentiates it from a “friendship.”
Here’s the good news…
The more in your feminine you are, the more you “polarize” your partner into his masculine, and the more in your masculine you are, the more you “polarize” your partner into her feminine… this is what makes for stronger and deeper passion.
So you might ask, how can you BE more in your feminine, or masculine?
Here’s the answer.
There are some simple, powerful ways for women to cultivate their feminine and men to strengthen their masculine. I’ve included some of the practices I give my personal clients for you to explore, so you can consciously create deeper polarity and passion in your life and intimacy.
At this moment I want to remind you that you, like all of us, have both masculine and feminine within you. I’m NOT saying to deny either aspect of yourself; in fact, at the deepest level, when you fully integrate both masculine and feminine within you, you can fluidly move between one or the other to artfully live your life with passion, power, purpose, and fulfillment.
What I am giving you here are practices to cultivate and embody your feminine or masculine as needed, so that you can consciously create that arc of energy that naturally sparks deep passion and irresistible magnetic attraction whenever you want with your partner. These same practices will also help you to deepen the love and connection between you.
You’re most in your feminine when you’re naturally relaxed and open in your pleasure-filled body. When you’re radiant with the light of the feminine that resides within you, you feel alive with life, rather than rigid and still, and your voice is resonant and full, as opposed to directional and sharp. You are sensually alive and receptive and you feel free in your body, heart, and soul to express life as it moves through you as sound and movement.
The thing is that as women today, we spend so much time in our head, it can often be difficult to get out of there and relax into our bodies. Plus, we’re rarely praised, recognized, or rewarded for taking time out to immerse ourselves in pleasure and relaxation, but we are praised for being “successful,” busy, and “doing it all.”
So it takes a commitment for a woman to take time out to nurture herself, to explore her creative expression, to enjoy sensual pleasure, and to deepen relaxation of her body so she can “spontaneously” relax into her feminine for a moment of intimacy with her partner, which is why I’ve created these practices for you.
Feminine Embodiment Practices:
Number One: Sensually Alive and Open Hearted
The benefits of pleasure for women extend far beyond the “feel good” factor. Studies have shown that women who experience more pleasure in their life enjoy greater physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual well-being.
Pleasure is also the quickest and easiest way for a woman to get out of her head and into her body, which means it’s a powerful way to relax into her feminine. When a woman experiences pleasure, her body relaxes, her heart opens, and her inner radiance is revealed.
This opening of the heart and relaxation of the body also liberate a woman’s authentic expression of how she’s feeling in the moment. She is more free to feel life fully (because she’s not stuck in her head) and then express it through her body, which is incredibly attractive to the masculine.
So it’s time to reawaken your senses… literally! Give yourself permission to taste, smell, hear, see, and feel life fully. As a woman, if you want to attract a partner or inspire the one you’re with, there’s nothing more irresistible than a woman who’s not only brilliant and capable, but also brimming over with the “juice” of life through her pleasure filled body and loving heart.
PRACTICE: Make pleasure a daily practice. It doesn’t matter WHAT you do, so long as it is deeply pleasurable and you practice relaxing open while you enjoy that pleasure. Even just five minutes of pleasure a day makes a profound difference for a woman. Of course, I’d always recommend more! 😉
Number Two: Shine Your Light
Which of these feels like a compliment to you and which feels like an insult?
- “Wow (insert your name), you’re looking absolutely radiant today!”
- “Wow (insert your name), you look really dull and lifeless today!”
A woman who identifies more with the feminine will be naturally attuned to what enhances her radiance and what doesn’t, which is why women will try on various earrings, shoes, scarves, outfits, and so on, until she finds the perfect combination that enhances her radiance the most.
This is because at the deepest level, as a woman, you ARE an embodiment of love’s light. And when you allow yourself to truly shine, you feel alive with the light of Life, and you naturally become irresistible to the masculine.
PRACTICE: Take some quiet time to do this mirror practice. Stand in front of a mirror with your eyes closed. Relax your body, lift your sternum gently, and feel a softening in your chest as your heart opens. Behind your closed eyelids, let your gaze soften. Allow a gentle smile to arise from your lips. Then, when you’re ready, gently open your eyes and gaze at yourself in the mirror.
At first, your attention might be drawn to “how you look,” but bring your awareness to your eyes and notice the light that shines from them. See the light in your eyes and take a moment to breath fully, keeping your gaze soft. Take a moment to truly appreciate the light in your eyes, allowing that feeling of light to spread through you until it’s emanating from the whole of your being so that you are radiant with light. When you’re ready, step away from the mirror, walk into your life again shining the light you are through all you do…in and out of the bedroom.
Number Three: Breathe, Baby, Breathe!
Yes, as simple as it might sound, how you breathe has a profound impact on how you feel, what you think, what you do, and even your ability to relax in to your feminine.
For example, shallow breathing keeps you stuck in your head, and how can you possibly “embody” the feminine if you’re stuck in your head?
Shallow breathing also keeps your nervous system tracking in “fight or flight” mode, which keeps you on alert and prevents you from relaxing into your body or into the deliciousness of the moment.
Full, deep breathing, on the other hand, not only relaxes your body, but also relaxes your nervous system, which allows you BE in the moment, open your heart, and deepen your capacity to feel yourself, others, and life most fully.
Remember, part of what makes you irresistible as the feminine is your capacity to feel life fully and express it through your radiant body and open heart. So it’s essential to check in with how you breathe habitually, and to retrain yourself to breathe fully if needed, so you truly can relax into your feminine, in and out of the bedroom.
PRACTICE: Take some quiet time to yourself. Lie on your back with your knees bent, feet flat. Place your hands gently on your belly. Take a few full deep breaths and sigh the breath out to release any tension. Now, breathe deeply into the belly, letting your belly rise as you breathe in, and fall as you breathe out. Do this for as long as is comfortable.
Number Four: Relaxation and Receptivity
Relaxation cannot be underestimated. Deep, bodily relaxation is an essential key to relaxing into your feminine. It allows you to feel life fully, shine your radiant light, and BE an expression of your most delicious, glorious, full, feminine self.
Relaxation also helps you to be more open to receive in your life and intimacy. This receptivity is essential in the dynamic of masculine and feminine because the more receptive you are, the more you inspire the masculine to be penetrative. There lies another secret ingredient to polarity and to that irresistible, magnetic attraction we call passion.
Feminine embodiment practices are a way to cultivate this deeper relaxation and receptivity so that you can open up your body, heart, and soul to BE the full feminine expression that naturally invites the masculine in.
PRACTICE: This might look a bit whacky but this quick ‘n easy practice is a fundamental tantric practice that releases accumulated tension, “frees up” latent energy, and allows for deeper relaxation and receptivity.
Spend five to ten minutes gently shaking the body all over. You can start with extremities like fingers, hands, and up the arms. Then toes, feet, up the legs, until your whole body is gently shaking. Once you’re done, stand or lie quietly and soften the front surface of your body as you immerse yourself in the feeling of deeper relaxation.
Number Five: Being with Other Sensual, Soulful Women
There is something incredibly powerful about being with other women. I don’t mean in a “cafe talk” kind of way. I mean in a way where you get to really BE together, sharing your deepest desires without fear of judgement, celebrating each other, crying with each other, and enjoying the deliciousness of life together.
Being with other women in this way also helps you to recognize the parts of yourself that you judge as good or bad and is a beautiful opportunity for loving self-reflection, so you can see the parts of yourself that you are yet to embrace, love, and express authentically in your own life or intimacy.
Most importantly, being with other really good, soulful women is one of the most powerful ways I know for you to cultivate your feminine and relax into the fullness of who you are as a sensually alive, authentically empowered woman.
PRACTICE: Join a women’s group, or start your own!
You’re most in your masculine when you feel free in your body, heart, and soul.
What does that look like in real terms?
Those moments when you’re clear on your purpose – either your life’s purpose or your purpose for that moment – you feel strong, trustable, grounded in your clarity, and unwavering in your presence. Not rigid and unfeeling, just steadfast and clear.
You have a presence that is potent, powerful, and penetrative. Not intrusive, but lovingly persistent. That kind of presence allows a woman to completely relax, and if you’re really good, allows her to feel fully seen, melts her heart open, and makes her go wobbly at the knees.
Stay tuned next week for the last part of this three-part series!
Go watch this video right now and learn how to use tiny little text messages to turn your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or husband into an absolute “Romance Addict” even if they don’t seem to care one iota about romance now… CLICK HERE!