Many newly divorced or single people are turning to Facebook as a place to meet their Lasting Love. After all, this is where they hang out with their friends. So, where better to meet the One than among the people you like and trust?
Many singles have become disillusioned and frustrated with online dating sites because they don’t have the new skill set needed to succeed on them. Online dating rules and protocols are not the ones we learned from our parents, so instead of learning these new skills and rules, most give up. (I know I did several times until I got smart and learned.)
Facebook serves as a social platform without the inherent pressures of a dating site. After all, when you go into a friend’s social page, it’s like going to a party. And, the more friends that you have, the more parties that you can attend.
But, you assume that, like at most parties, the host knows all of the guests. Unfortunately, most peoples’ Facebook pages are more like those “open” parties that we all went to in high school or college where there were some really nice people mixed in with a number of social misfits, sexual or emotional predators, and financial scammers – in other words, a cross section of society.
But, don’t despair. It is possible to find your mate on Facebook if you follow these 10 Dating Tips and Rules:
1. Do: Look through your friends’ list of friends and identify potential “mate material” prospects by scanning their online pages.
You can get a really good idea about a person from their online pictures and what they and their friends post. Trust your instincts. It is likely that you might have a number of mutual friends with this potential mate, which will help your cause when trying to contact them!
2. Do: Start interacting on the pages where she or he interacts so that they can get a sense of what you’re like.
Respond to their posts just like you would if you were at a party and they made a comment.
3. Do: If you know the host of the party (page), ask him for more information about the One you like and ask for an introduction.
If you get one, great! Then, you’re on your way! (Then, read my book, “It’s a Match! The Guide to Finding Lasting Love,” to take it from there!)
4. Do: Send him or her a friend request if you don’t get an introduction.
They might say yes if you have mutual friends.
5. Do: Interact respectfully on their page.
Chose carefully what you post. Remember to behave like a gracious guest when you’re on somebody else’s page. Everyone has a family who looks at his or her page. Don’t post anything that you wouldn’t want your mother seeing.
6. Do: Present your best self.
Be positive and respectful on your page and on other peoples’ pages. Behave as though you were a guest or the host of the party. You want everyone to feel comfortable and want to be around you. Otherwise, they will ask you to leave the party! (Unfriend you)
7. Don’t: Ask to be their friend and immediately start sending Chat messages asking her if she’s single.
Do not ask if they want to meet for sex (this is not Tinder!), or send repeated “hello’s” after getting no response. Just like on the online dating sites, no response means that they are not interested or they are just busy. So, show self-restraint and class.
8. Don’t: Call the person through Facebook Messenger until you get to know them through interactions and you get their permission to call them.
It’s creepy to get calls from people you don’t know. Definitively don’t continue trying to call them when they don’t answer. Don’t call her a “bitch” or him a “bastard” if they don’t respond immediately or at all. This will just prove that they really dodged a bullet by avoiding you.
9. Don’t: Send messages to a woman telling her what you would like to do with and to her various body parts.
Don’t send pictures of your penis or other body parts. (Really, would you do this at a party?) The same applies if you are a woman looking for a man. This is just creepy behavior. You’re looking for a mate not a hookup.
10. Do: Act like a high value person by not posting pictures of yourself in scantily clad poses.
For men: No, shirtless pictures with the top button of your jeans open.
For women: No pictures of you wearing barely there clothing or in their lingerie. Those pictures just advertise for sex, not a mate. Plus, when you choose to represent yourself this way, you’re telling the world that this is all you have to offer. (Not a great message!)
After you start interacting with your potential mate via Messenger and one or two phone calls, you will know if you want to proceed to a face-to-face meeting. But first, be safe and search for the person on Google to see if they are who they say they are. Remember, that there are numerous fake Facebook accounts– no matter how diligent FB is in pursuing these and closing them down.
Do not share your home address or financial situation with the person until you get to know them in person.
Remember, there are financial predators out there. Just because the person is on your friend’s page DOES NOT mean that they know him well or at all!
If you like what you see and hear, it’s important to meet in person as quickly as possible (dating efficiency) in order to determine if this is a potential mate. Arrange to meet in a public place for either coffee or a glass of wine. Make sure that your location has safe parking with a parking attendant or a lot of foot traffic. After all, you have never met this person before.
Keep the first meeting to a pre-arranged period of 1 hour (dating efficiency).
You can say that you have to go back to work or are meeting friends for dinner after your drink. This gives you enough time to evaluate if you two have chemistry to be more than just friends and if you feel good in their company.
Remember, your Lasting Love is out there right now, looking for you. You just need to have the right skills and patience to find him or her. Good luck!