“How can I get a six pack?” It’s a common question from the men I work with. I spent over a decade in the fitness industry and the mistake that most men are still making is that if they get that elusive “six pack” suddenly women are going to start falling from the sky and landing in their beds.
There are several statements I hear from men that are similar – usually having to do with their body fat percentage, the custom made suit they just bought, the size of their bank account or the new car.
Somehow these men are convinced that if they just have the right body fat percentage or the right amount of money, then women will magically love them.
Now I’ll be the last person to tell you to not hit the gym, or to try and build a multi-million dollar empire. It’s what gets me out of bed every day. I love the thrill of the chase. I love the discipline and work that it takes to build a business from the ground up. I love the challenge of having a new obstacle to overcome every day. I love the feeling I get from pushing my physical body to its limit every time I hit the gym or step onto the mat when I spar. It’s one of the most exhilarating and terrifying feelings I know of.
But here is the thing that most men miss. It’s not the $5,000 Rolex that the woman loves and finds attractive (ok I’m sure she thinks it’s a nice watch) and it’s not the six pack that she loves (yes, again I’m certain she’s enjoying the way those abs look and feel) it is the dedication and discipline that she finds so attractive.
It’s the fact that you were willing to do the hard work required to earn the money it takes to buy that watch or that you were willing to do the work day in and day out at the gym that was required for you to get that ripped body.
To her, the way you discipline yourself at the gym, in your chosen profession and with the people you surround yourself with is the sexiest thing in the world.
A guy with abs is of course aesthetically pleasing to her and a guy with a successful thriving business is sexy as hell, and yes a man with a thriving social circle is attractive but not because she loves those things. It’s because she loves the fact that these men were willing to put aside their selfishness and their wishy washy inability to make a choice and stick with it and build a body and a career and tribe that has depth and substance to it.
To her, this kind of man has the discipline and dedication that she desires from a sexual partner, a lover, a boyfriend, a companion and possibly the father to her children. This kind of man can be trusted to make decisions and stick to them. The kind of man who can show this sort of commitment to himself, his business and his loved ones is the kind of man she can trust to be there day after day showing her the same kind of love, commitment and safety.
So instead of being the kind of little boy who focuses on getting “stuff,” focus your energy on becoming the kind of man it takes to earn the trust of all of those you cross paths with.