We have spent the last 17 years advising and coaching professionals of all backgrounds: CEO’s, sales professionals, managers, athletes and celebrities, etc. Most of our clients have been in serious relationships or married.
Over the years in our work, we have compiled our “go-to” list of reasons why successful relationships remain successful. It is important to note that each person in a relationship places different values on each of these ten reasons.
The key is to have an open conversation (see #1) around these topics to uncover what your partner deems important in your relationships. Do NOT assume you know your partners reasons or values! Set a date with each other and begin to talk about our top ten list below.
Top 10 Tips for a Successful Relationship:
- Open and consistent communication
- Keeping Intimacy Fresh
- Setting Mutual Goals
- Having a Life Outside of Each Other
- Having fun things to look forward to together
- Addressing the “800 lb Guerillas” ie. Money, parenting, religion, etc
- Creating relationship rituals and keeping them consistent (ie. Date nights)
- Variety in the bedroom
- Empowering trust within each other
- Remember to have fun with each other and get over arguments quickly
One of our favorite sayings is, “What is your chance of failure if you never make the attempt?” The answer is 100%! Make the effort to welcome these principles into your relationship. Not doing it may cost you your relationship.
In our research for our book titled Men: 10 Secrets Every Woman Should Know from Two Guys That Do, one of the most common questions we received was, “What causes break-ups or divorces?” We were fortunate to host several live events where we took polls of our attendees on this precise question.
Below is a list of the most popular reasons we uncovered in our research. To contrast our Top 10 Tips for a Successful Relationship, we have devised a list of the Top 10 reasons given for break ups. When you look at the two lists side-by-side, you will see some clear similarities especially around communication and intimacy.
The Top 10 Reasons Couples Break Up or Get Divorced:
- Lack of communication around finances
- Lack of communication around sex life
- Lack of communication around the future and goals
- One person “changes” due to some outside influence
- Growing apart due to a life event, age or values changing
- Law of Familiarity–taking each other for granted
- Not willing to confront the brutal facts about the state of the union
- Lack of attraction due to one’s physical change (usually weight gain)
- No sexual spark and one partner cheats to find it
- Couples becomes just parents and co-existing and not partners anymore
Knowing these ten reasons is just the first step we call “awareness.” One of the challenges we see all the time, as experts, is people’s unwillingness to address what is missing in their relationship. Developing a pattern of consistent communication in your relationship will help alleviate some of the stresses that fester in your relationship. Be aware, communicate and do not become another statistic.