Out of millions of people on the planet, if you find that one person that manages to light you up like no one ever could, you’re probably thinking about taking your relationship to the next level.
After all, why would you want to let that person go after putting so much effort into finding him or her?
Of course, for relationships that have been going on for years, as most people would say, it’s high time to get married or settle down.
The Undeniable Feeling
Relationships go through a lot of different phases. Naturally, it all starts out with that feeling of bliss. Anyone who knows how it feels to be “in love” knows that it seems like an all-time high whenever you’re together.
Now, though that feeling tends to be so consuming that it immediately makes you feel like you wish to spend the rest of your life with your partner, know that is not enough. It takes more than just the feeling of being “in love” to make a lifetime commitment.
Taking the next level should involve more than just feelings. Though some couples successfully maintain the romance decades after their wedding day, those are not that many. It takes a lot of work to make any relationship work especially when the plan is to start a family, as kids will definitely complicate things.
Before taking the next step, make sure that there’s a plan involved. Tying the knot means starting a new life with someone. How do you plan to be accountable for that new role you will be required to play? Marriage comes with a lot of new responsibilities. It is not something to take lightly even if divorce is an option.
Planning for a lifetime with someone else requires a lot of thinking. Where will you live? Do your life plans meet at least halfway? Do you want kids? Does your partner want kids? When?
Those are some questions that might need answers before deciding to go to the next level. Of course, ideally, you both have the same plans in life. Or, at least, you both should be able to compromise with each other’s wishes.
At best, learn how to agree to disagree and continue to respect your differences.
“Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
– Kahlil Gibran, On Marriage
A lifetime commitment is a big decision. It takes two people that are willing to work for their relationship to succeed. Everything that has happened up to this point should be enough to determine if two people can actually make it work.
Remember, it’s not about giving up an old life. It is all about starting a new life together with someone. When do you really know? You will never know, it takes a lot of guts and a strong sense of self to make that decision. What’s important is that, once the decision is made, stick to it… in sickness and in health.