“I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.” – Oscar Wilde
Men think that women are complex and we are always changing our moods, our desires, our needs and our requirements. Not true. In fact, women are fairly simple.
The problem is that men don’t know the right words to say when we are in our “moods”, and if you say the wrong thing, then, oh boy… look out! Men want to try to fix everything. Unfortunately, women are not a problem. Stop trying to fix us and our problems. We just want to TALK about them!
Studies show that by the time girls are 4 years old, they already have double the vocabulary of boys. Talking is hard-wired into our DNA, the same way that NOT talking is hard-wired into a man’s.
No, it doesn’t mean you have to listen to us drone on for hours about every little detail of our day, or that you should be interested in what color of nail polish we bought or giggle together at the beauty salon.
What it does mean is that we don’t want you to try to fix our problems. We want you to LISTEN to our problems.
When a woman speaks and a man starts to tell her what she should do to the situation better she will immediately become defensive. Alternatively, when a woman speaks and gets nothing in return, she starts to feel unimportant and dismissed. Trust me, you do not want either of these things.
If you continually fail to listen to her or keep offering solutions, eventually she will shut down and will leave you, either physically or emotionally.
I’m going to teach you an invaluable lesson. If you want to make your woman happy, the next time she comes home and you ask her how her day was and she starts talking about her boss, or about how the kids were running wild or how she couldn’t get all the laundry done, nod your head and say the following:
- I’m sorry, that must have been stressful.
- Gosh, you must be tired.
- I understand.
- Wow, that wasn’t cool.
- Uh huh.
- I know what you mean.
- That sucks.
- Can I do anything?
Say whichever statement fits the moment. Let her talk. Nod every now and again and put your hand on her arm or her shoulder. Slowly she will relax, and all of the stress she had pent up will dissipate.
She isn’t talking to you for any reason other than to get it out.We need to. It’s like breathing air.
The more you can reassure a woman that you are listening to her, the more she will be willing to please you.
If you want to get your needs met you need to make her feel heard and understood. If you can do this she will go out of her way to make your life easier and happier. Fail to do this and eventually she won’t care and you will have a roommate instead of a wife or girlfriend.
So, the next time she opens her mouth, shut yours. Listen. Nod. Say simple, little supportive sentences and go fix the T.V. or something – anything other than us!