By  ·

Hey, it’s Mike Fiore…

And today we’re going to talk about the one irrefutable way to absolutely KNOW if you’re really “with” a guy or not.

Boyfriend or Just a Friend? The Assumptions of a Confused Woman…Are you his girlfriend or are you a piece on the side?

Is he your “Prince Charming” or is he your “Mayor Player?”

(OK, that was awful.)

Before we do that, though . . .

If you want to KNOW WITH 100% CERTAINTY that a man loves you truly, deeply in that way that makes us want to slay dragons for you, go take this short quiz right now.

And here we go . . .

“Can you tell me ‘What’s the definition of dating this generation?’ Can you finish this sentence? ‘You’re definitely dating if/when______________’ …cuz the guy I’m seeing seems to think we’re not dating even though we spend most of our time together doing different things, activities, etc…”


Hey Annette,

Thanks for your question.

Actually, it’s a type of question I get A LOT. And the answer is one of those blunt, kick you in the teeth, so-obvious it’s stupid answers that makes folks on my Facebook Wall go DUH.

You know you’re dating when . . .

Well, when you have a conversation and you both say “We’re dating.”

Like I said, I get emails EVERY DAY from women saying . . .

“Mike, we slept together, does that mean he’s my boyfriend?” (nope.)


“Mike, he told me I’m the woman of his dreams, the one he’s been searching for, does that mean we’re dating?” (nope. It means he’s either: Really romantic, really good at telling women what they want to hear, really drunk or really a scammer.)


“Mike, this guy and I made out at a bar in front of his girlfriend. We were REALLY drunk, but I think he loves me now!” (Sober up.)


“Mike, this guy I like made eye contact with me from far across the room for 1.62 seconds. I was standing in front of a poster for the new Star Trek movie, but I’m pretty sure he was looking at me and wasn’t secretly lusting after Spock. From angle of the left side of his mouth I’m pretty sure he loves me. He’s mine now, right?” (Seek help.)


Really, ladies, you need to stop using your crazy female “Meaning Finding” powers so much and just trust this one rule:

You’re “dating” a guy when you use your words like adults and you both actually SAY you’re dating.

(And even if you’re “dating”  – as in, going on dates, courting, schlepping like bunnies, whatever you’re not a “COUPLE” until you sit down, define the relationship and SAY you’re a couple.)

And here’s the real kicker:

Until he makes an actual VERBAL commitment to you and says “We are a couple,” you are single.

(And, as much as it hurts, so is he.)

That means you should keep going out with other guys, should protect yourself both emotionally and physically (if he’s sleeping with you and you haven’t had the monogamy talk he may well be sleeping with other women as well. And that doesn’t necessarily make him a player or a douchebag. It just makes him single. Like you.)

And  you should refuse to drop other plans for him and . . .

Well, basically just do what I tell you to do in Make Him Beg To Be Your Boyfriend (just $3 on Amazon.)

I know, I know, this should be really obvious, but when the hormones are pumping and the heart is yearning it’s way too easy to make assumptions.

And if you’re too scared to “define the relationship” because you think you might not like what you hear . . .

Well, that gives you your answer right there, doesn’t it?

That tells you that he’s not yours (at least not yet.)

That you should turn back the volume on your yearning and your need.

That . . . well, that you’re still single.

So act like it.

Much love.


Michael Fiore
Founder, Digital Romance, Inc

P.S. Got a question you want answered in our podcast or  newsletter?

Send it to Maggie at and we MIGHT get to it in the future.

P.P.S. You can check out all 4 of my best-selling kindle books on Amazon here.

Michael Fiore

Internationally recognized as the foremost expert on how to have great relationships in the modern world, Michael is blunt, funny, and always honest.

In 2011, Michael appeared on “The Rachael Ray” show with his popular “Text The Romance Back Program” (Rachael said he gave her “chills”). Since then Michael has given women X-Ray vision into men’s minds with “The Secret Survey”, helped thousands rebuild relationships with “Text Your Ex Back”, and has become an Amazon Best Selling Author.

Michael lives in Seattle, WA and is currently hard at work on his next shocking, straightforward and really, really useful program.

What Do You Think?

No comments yet | Start the discussion

Leave a Comment

Your name will appear above your comment. You may use a “pen name”.