Hi! My name is Steph. I have been out with Mike three times and I really like him. One of my friends wanted to see a picture of him, so we looked him up on Facebook. His profile wasn’t private, so I was able to look at all of his pictures. We went through a bunch of them and the majority of the photos are of him and one woman. He doesn’t have a sister and they look like more than just friends in some of the pictures. I know I would seem crazy if I mentioned anything, especially because we are not friends on Facebook. What should I do?
You definitely shouldn’t mention to Mike that you stalked his Facebook profile. You have only been out with him a few times, so it is way too early to show him that side of your crazy. It is also too soon for you to be jealous of any of the women in his life without having good reason.
If Mike does have a girlfriend, I would hope that he would have been smart enough to at least make his profile private if he were cheating on her. The woman is most likely just a friend who takes and posts a lot of pictures. But if you need to be sure, there are ways to find out.
The next time you are out with him, ask him about his friends. Does he have a large social group? Who is his best friend? Does he spend a lot of time with his family? Don’t make it like an interrogation; just start a conversation about your social lives and the people you are closest to.
Is he doing anything particular in any of the pictures with the woman? If they were at a concert or a festival, or on vacation, you can mention something pertaining to those things. If they were at a concert, bring up an event you went to and ask him if he has seen any good bands lately. If they were on vacation, ask him if he has traveled anywhere recently and who he went with. Just make sure you aren’t too obvious.
If he doesn’t mention her, you might have cause to worry, but I really do think the relationship is too new for you to freak out. She could be an ex or someone he casually dates, so he may not want to bring her up so soon. He isn’t your boyfriend, and until he is, keep any stalker or jealous tendencies to yourself.
If you continue dating Mike, you will eventually find out who she is. If you feel like the relationship has serious potential after a couple more dates, then you are in the clear to specifically ask if he is dating anyone else. Give it some more time before you make yourself crazy or scare him away.
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