By · @mshellMFT  ·  · 152 Shares

What if you could create the perfect Christmas with your partner this year? The holidays are a special time together. Knowing exactly what your partner wants will make this a Christmas they’ll never forget!

All it takes is finding out how they recognize love!

Love Languages to Have a Happy Christmas With Your PartnerEveryone wants to feel special during the holidays. It’s a sweet time of showing love and appreciation. Being able to recognize your partner’s love language is key to relationship happiness. It will make your partner feel like they’re cherished and that leads to a more intimate holiday!

Thanks to Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, it’s pretty simple. According to his book, there are five different ways people experience love. Feeling loved is the primary reason we enter into relationships. It makes the struggles worth it.

When you know your partner’s primary love language, making them feel special is a no-brainer. By discovering their love language your partner will feel incredibly special – like you know them better than anyone else. And you will.

Here’s your first clue, people tend to give what they secretly want. So pay attention to what your partner gives you.

  • Are they super affectionate?
  • Do they love gifts or quality time spent together?
  • Do they show their love through doing things for you or do they prefer verbal acknowledgments?

Here is your guide to using love languages for the perfect Christmas.

1. Acts of Service

When your partner not only appreciates helpful acts, but sees them as acts of love, giving material gifts isn’t going to make a big impression. You try to find the perfect gift only to get a mediocre reaction. That’s because gifts don’t speak to them!

Instead, find ways to show your love by doing helpful acts they will appreciate. For instance, do they want a small shelf put up but don’t have the time? Do they love your cooking? If you aren’t sure, ask them what they need help with – and add it to your “acts of service list.”

2. Words of Encouragement

If your partner’s love language is words of encouragement, they will feel loved by kind words and compliments. Saying I love you several times day is their dream. They need to hear that they matter to you. Without it they don’t feel known by their partner.

Try writing a beautiful letter or card telling them exactly why you appreciate them. Or get really creative and do a “12 days of Christmas” style thank you with a little love note each day. Write or copy a list of romantic poems that shows how much they mean to you.

3. Quality Time

If your partner’s biggest complaint is not spending enough time together, quality time is their love language. This gets to be a challenge when someone works a lot of overtime or travels for business. So during the holidays, they look forward to spending as much time with you as possible. If you get called into work, they are super disappointed and this is why!

Let them know that you are planning to take a few days off just to be with them. If that’s not possible right now, set a date they can look forward to. Make a fun coupon wrapped up in a small box for the time together that is your special gift. Sharing your time is what they really want!

4. Gift Giving

You know when this is your partner’s love language because they talk about birthdays and Christmas as a huge production. They equate gift-giving with how much you care. In their mind, the amount spent on gifts equates with how much they think you care. This is not because they are greedy, it’s because in their family, that was the main expression of love. They see gifts – and plenty of them as an expression of love.

This is probably the easiest love language during the holidays. So use it to your advantage and pay attention to what you know they like (or be sneaky and ask their friends).

5. Physical Touch

This is when touch and physical intimacy are seen as love. If affection wasn’t shown much growing up you may have learned that it wasn’t important. Or, it becomes incredibly important because you didn’t get it.

Either way, you can make it fun. Give a gift certificate for massages, manicures, anything related to touch. Make sure you create something special for the holidays. A sexy night at a hotel with new lingerie goes perfectly with this love language.

Have fun getting to know your partner’s love language. Be sure to let them know what your love language is too. It’s a fun way to deepen intimacy so you can have an awesome holiday together!

If you’re not sure what your partner’s love language is, or you want to know more about it, visit to take the quiz!

Michelle Farris

Michelle is a licensed therapist who specializes in helping men and women learn how to have more fulfilling, healthy relationships.

Grab a free copy of her eBook – The 4 Essential Steps to Building Your Confidence

To learn 10 Tips to Transform Anger into Loving Connection: CLICK HERE!

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