As an admitted over analyzer, in the past I have relied heavily on my friend’s advice instead of really turning within to orient my love life.
Plagued with so many different love life opinions on what was “right” and “not right,” I became overwhelmed and confused. This often times resulted in a paralysis and fear of doing anything at all.
I increasingly questioned my own decisions, and myself:
- “Should I message him?”
- “Was that a good message?”
- “What should I say?”
- “Does he really like me?”
I was not myself. I wasn’t speaking from my truth or acting in a manner that was in line with my soul and who I truly was. I became dependent on asking my friends for advice, putting my own thoughts and intuition aside.
So, what happened?
I hated myself and I robbed the people I dated of really experiencing me for who I truly am. My anxiety increased and I would spin when I entered any new dating relationship. I didn’t love the person I was, so how was anyone else really able to love me in return? I was living my love life through my friend’s advice; it was my “bible”, my orientation to the truth.
The reality was, the answers I was searching for, were always with me and only me.
It took some time, but I dug deep. I spent a lot of time with myself, listening and learning to trust myself. I aligned myself with friends that really challenged me to look within first and foremost. The best friends were those that first asked me, “Well, what do you think?”
The interesting part about that question was, I always knew. I always felt and knew what I really wanted to do or say. Sure, I got scared and still questioned myself from time to time, but in those times of fear, I listened to how that situation or person was making me feel. I learned to trust that in a place of calmness, that is where I found my intuition.
When I was in doubt, I did nothing. If I felt called to, I waited until I felt comfortable and confident in my own decision-making. Other times, I acted in the moment, purely out of intuition. I didn’t question it, and I didn’t need to think it through, because it felt right.
Instead of always turning to my friends to orient my love life, I asked myself:
- “How does he make me feel?”
- “How do I feel about myself when I am with him?”
- “Am I happy?”
- “Am I able to be my true self with him?”
- “Do I love myself?”
- “Do I feel loved?”
What I have learned is; you CAN trust yourself.
You have this amazing personal intuition all on your own. You experience this intuition every day by paying attention to what feels right and what feels not right to you.
Sure, sometimes we make decisions at the time that appear to be “mistakes,” but the reality is, there are no mistakes. There is no situation or person that you can’t handle, only lessons, redirections and reminders of where you’re truly meant to be.
You can absolutely trust yourself to orient your love life. No one else’s opinion matters over your own intuition.
The internal strength and intuition you already have, is enough. You got this.