Passion. A strong and barely controllable emotion. It embodies the true definition of losing yourself over to sex, love and complete consciousness.
I have proudly been a woman who’s lived my life with great passion. It has costs me some tears, but to be completely honest with you, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m known for being lustful and passionate about the men I’ve loved.
Throwing myself into complete abandon. The affection. The attention. The intimacy of touch and eye contact. And yes, wanton lovemaking. I want it all. Living my love life like a steamy romance novel is my ideal. But, meeting the man that matches my passion and understands it has been my quandary.
And then out of the blue, one day it just stops.
And for most couples, it’s not something you notice right away. Quietly sneaking up on you both like a person hiding in plain sight. Somewhere, somehow, the fervor and flame have burned down to embers. The high flame of passion can easily be replaced by the demands of life. Be it career, parenting, finances. It could be anything that demands your effort that changes things.
And that’s where I believe the smoking gun is. In a word, EFFORT.
My mother told me many years ago, “Shan if it’s important to you, you’ll put in the effort.” Short and to the point. But truly think of the impact of it’s meaning. Passion is an effort I made a priority in my love life. Not sure if the men I’ve loved put in the same effort I did.
Somehow excuses and time take away from the importance of each other when it comes to passion and the things you do for each other to keep the passion alive and a priority. I’ve heard so many times that over a certain amount of years, passion goes out the window and comfort takes its place.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing and for many people it’s ok. But, I’m not an “ok” type of woman. And why should I have to give it up because of time? Or any of us for that reason?
Why can’t the effort be made by us both on a continual basis throughout time?
Let’s make the effort to tongue kiss. All the time. Caress my face when people are watching.
Make love outside, in the car. Sneakily follow me into a restroom stall and touch me there. Call me and say what you love about me at two in the afternoon when you miss me instead of two a.m. only because you want to sex me.
Let me touch your mind continually on why I love and need you. Why I moan your name when you make love to me. And in the quiet moments, when we’re in the car and you hold my hand and bring it to your lips and kiss it gently. No words. Just eye connection.
Dam, I love love. And in the end, I know it will be my undoing. But, I embrace it with sweet abandon. My sweetest pain.