By · @LeslieBethWish  ·  · 102 Shares

You’re in love. Things are good between you and your partner.  You love the rhythm and flow of your life. This is it. This person is The One. There’s romance, you love dating, and you are even thinking of marriage. Except…well, sex is getting a bit ho-hum. That spark just isn’t sparking as much. And you wonder:  “Is something wrong?”

The quick answer is: NO!

For many couples, in the beginning of the relationship, you feel high on love and sex-with-love.  Your sex life is exciting—intense orgasms, different positions, different rooms, and varied forms of pleasure.  You are in overdrive—and loving it!

But after a while—and that “while” can be anywhere from several months to two years or more—the variety and level of passion shift into third gear.

Here’s the good news:  That downshift is normal.  Why?  The initial stage of hormonal rush from courting and attachment lessens.  The normalcy of life takes over.  You feel content, assured with your partner.  The anxiety of uncertainty of “how does my partner feel about me” is almost gone.

Think of the nature shows you’ve watched where the male bird, in order to attract his mate, goes into a frenzied display during courtship.  He might dance, hop, spin, or spread and flap his wings to impress the female.  She signals agreement, they copulate, and then that frenzy subsides.

Living daily with frenzy is exhausting. Birds can’t do it, and people can’t do it. But—wait—unlike birds, people can ramp up their sex life!

One of the sexual goals of mutually happy couples is not to remain in overdrive—but to sustain both a sexual and relationship “cruising gear” that is easily ramped up to high gear!

Here are some tested, trusted tips about how to keep that spark.

1) Leave Each Other Love Notes or Send Text Messages

Compliment your partner on a job well-done at work.  Tell your partner you are glad you found each other.  Or tell your partner how great he or she looks.  Include a heart emoji.

2) Do One of Your Partner’s Errands

Few of us enjoy doing errands—especially after a long or hectic day at work. So, tell your partner that you will stop at the grocery store or pick up the dry cleaning.

3) Watch Romantic Movies—or Thrillers and Suspenseful Ones

Love and How to Find True LoveOf course, the romantic movies create, well, romantic feelings.  After the movie, try this:  Recreate the hot love scenes!  Go ahead and try, for example, one of those staple scenes where the couples roll around in bed, with one person on top, and then the other. 

Aw, go ahead.  It will make you laugh, drop your guard, and make you feel closer. And those suspenseful mysteries and thrillers?  They raise your anxiety—and when that happens, we want reassurance and closeness—including sexual closeness!

4) Wear Sexy Clothes Around the House

So much about sexual feelings happen outside the bedroom. . .  Give your partner’s butt a love-squeeze.  When you go out together, hold hands, link your arms.  And in the car touch those private parts—but not when you are driving, please!

5) Return to Places From Your Dating Days—or Look Again at the Photos You Took

Good courtship memories make you feel closer—and special.  And that specialness often sparks those sexual feelings.  Why?  These activities strengthen your feelings about satisfying the fundamental human needs of safety and belonging—which easily arouse sexual desire.

6) Do the New

There’s nothing like variety to bring you closer.  Why? New things, in general, elevate anxiety.   Remember what I said above watching thriller movies?  Anxiety can make you seek closeness and assurance.

That new thing doesn’t have to be something big.  Just taking a drive to a new place can intensify your relationship. And don’t forget sex on the couch, backseat of the car, the kitchen floor, the back porch late at night or wherever you haven’t made love in a while. And, yes, try new positions, use creams, play “school” where you “teach” your partner what you want sexually.

Tell your partner something that is deep inside you and that is bothering you about yourself regarding your work, life, family or past—and listen to your partner doing the same. Revealing your deep dark secrets and fears can put you in overdrive sexually with your partner. Your partner’s support and understanding satisfy your very human needs for connection and safety.

Feel Good, Safe, and Sexy!


Go watch this video right now and learn how to use tiny little text messages to turn your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or husband into an absolute “Romance Addict” even if they don’t seem to care one iota about romance now… CLICK HERE!

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish is a award-winning licensed clinical psychotherapist & author of Smart Relationships:How Successful Women Can Find True Love

Want to trust your love intuition? Go to http://lovevictory.com/intuition-stories/  Or give contact info & learn about the program later.

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