So you’ve crossed paths with a beautiful woman you’re really interested in getting to know and that chemistry is fire.
You exchange numbers and things seem cool after the first couple of messages but then the replies take longer and longer before eventually stopping altogether. If you care or are bold enough to ask a woman what’s going on, you may get lucky and hear the actual or you’ll get one of the following repLIES:
“Didn’t see your text,” “Phone was broken,” “Sorry, I’ve been really busy”, or “I lost your number.”
I think just about everyone has experienced being blown off a time or two before and have likely racked your brain trying to figure out what went wrong. Maybe it was her and not you but more often than not, it was you.
After chatting with one of the dating hangovers last week, I realized that some men are completely clueless about the kinds of text messages that can make a woman go ice cold. So in addition to explaining what he was doing wrong, I shared a few more tidbits on the types of messages that are turning us off so quickly and here they are:
You Took Too Long
It’s amazing how many men still think that 3 day waiting game after getting a woman’s number is a good idea, because most of us want to be contacted within the first 48 hours. Even if it’s a simple text to say “Call you tomorrow” the sooner you reach out, the better.
All Text and No Talk
We all have busy lives (well, most of us), so it’s understandable that a guy may not be able to have those long, engaging conversations but if you think a woman’s attention will be held with texting alone, you’re wrong. If you’re not sure what her communication preference may be, why not ask? If you’re worried about when to call, why not set up a phone date so you know the best time to try chatting that isn’t too early, during an episode of Scandal or worse – booty call hours.
The bottom line is if you can’t find the time for conversation, we’ll figure you’re not that interested, too busy to try dating or may have a girlfriend or wife sitting next to you.
Your Messages Are a Turn Off
Men have no idea how wide the range of texting violations can be. It could be that your grammar or excessive use of slang abbreviations is too much to stomach, or maybe the emoji’s in every message has us feeling like we’re messaging our girlfriends. If there is something in that message that makes a guy look desperate, too aggressive or even sleazy, that radio will suddenly go dead silent.
You Texted a Penis Pic
For the life of me I will never understand why men think the penis picture is a good idea especially if we first met and it was not requested. In fact, I can’t think of any women who have asked for one and if received, what it did for them because they sure don’t make me go “Oooh yeah daddy” or want to jump in the sack with you quicker. But I’ll tell you what sending one of these pictures will do – get you ignored and likely deleted quicker so just don’t do it.
We Lost Interest
Maybe we weren’t feeling you initially and wanted to try or you were rebound potential but whichever the case – we just lost interest and our responses stopped coming. So it happens and you can either take the hints or make the decision to ask a woman the reason your texts are going unanswered. But don’t push it by texting and calling too much.
I’ve definitely been blown off before and have always followed my 2 tries in 2 days rule by sending a text one day and then reaching out with a call the second; if I haven’t received anything back or a guy sends a lame text in response, I’m done.
The bottom line is that the courting process has changed drastically from years past. Texting has become somewhat of the norm for getting to know someone, but we have to remember that the lines of communication can be muddied by leaving out the talking. I believe asking about preferences as soon as the numbers are swapped will reveal any preferences and pet peeves, which will hopefully avoid the delayed responses or being ignored because someone’s interest just went poof.