I know there is nothing more depressing than talking about a break-up during the “month of love.”
Last year I went through a super traumatic break-up and have three big pointers that helped me move on that will hopefully help you too!
1. Unfriend, unfollow, disconnect.
Don’t get me wrong…I was given this advice and I didn’t listen to it either, but it really should always be step number one. There is nothing harder than seeing your ex posting about how amazing their life is post break-up while you’re wallowing at home watching romantic comedies wondering where you went wrong.
With every picture and post you don’t need to think, “was that a message to me?” For me, Instagram is the hardest post break-up…all these pictures with no context, hidden messages and new people liking them. Just BLOCK your ex and try not to look at their profile. It makes moving on SO much easier!
As we know, besides the break-up itself there is nothing worse than the Facebook post that says, “XX is no longer in a relationship with XX.” I don’t know who at Facebook thought this update was a good idea. The minute this happens, the floodgates open with comments…“OMG! What happened??”
My advice? Don’t make your relationship status public on Facebook. Problem solved. But, if you’ve already done this and don’t want to deal with everyone’s comments you can easily make that status private after the fact so it won’t show up in anyone’s feed.
Do you want to be the bigger person and play the “we can still be friends” card? That’s fine, but you can still unfollow in a sneaky way. On Facebook go to your ex’s profile and hit the “unfollow” button. Everyone will still think you’re friends, but all of your ex’s “I’m doing great” posts won’t show up in your feed.
2. Stay busy!
Being busy means you’re not starring at your computer/phone and cyber-stalking your ex. It also means you might just have fun! Do just that…call your friends and plan a boozy brunch, join a kickball league, try new things! After my break-up I decided I needed to figure out what made me happy so I hopped on Groupon/Living Social and bought a bunch of “experiences.”
In the last six months, I’ve done trapeze school, went to an aerial aerobics class, did a boudoir shoot (for myself), went to a wine and painting night, and had my tarot cards read. I still have trampoline park, salsa dancing and skydiving on my list. You’ll be shocked and how many fun and affordable experiences there are out there that you need to try. And, you’ll never know who you’ll meet doing them!
3. Create Your Own Happy
Oprah and Taylor Swift preach this so it has to work, right? The thought behind this is if you write down what makes you happy or what you’re grateful for you’ll be putting positive intentions into the universe that will hopefully come back to you and that you’ll be a happier person by acknowledging all the good things in your life.
For me, it totally worked! You can download a gratitude/happy app on your phone, pick up a journal and write a little something new a few days a week, join the 100HappyDays Challenge, OR make a Happy Jar (look up on Pinterest) and keep it out with some colorful papers in your living room, so your constantly reminded to acknowledge the happy in your life.
Here’s what mine says, “Write down ‘happy things’ on colorful pieces of paper. Fold up and place in the jar. Examples are accomplished goals, surprise gifts, LOL moments, and any happy memories worth saving. At the end of the year, look back on all of the happy you got to experience. If you’re having a bad day you can read a few to cheer you up too!”
So, remember while a break-up can feel like the worst thing in the world, it happened for a reason. Take as much time as you need to move on, but remember the best revenge in a break-up is being happy.